Settling In, Day the Third

On Wednesday I went down to main campus, making a few stops along the way, and getting a little lost as well. Fearing to go without contact another night, I bought an ethernet cord on the way down. When I got to campus, I realised I hadn't brought a photo and couldn't get my student card. But I went over to computer services and discovered that they give free cords to students in residence.

I also paid my residence fees. Then I had a few mouthfuls of lunch (the same awful couscous, but I felt guilty about tossing it). Then I hightailed it back to King's Manor to meet with my advisors.

That meeting went well, and I am now registered to a Latin class and a palaeography class. I'm not sure if they understand exactly what I'm trying to do or the background I'm bringing to this, but I smiled and I'm keeping an open mind. Of course, I am going to expend a lot of effort trying to prove that what I want to do is, in fact, doable and necessary. I hesitate to say that they are displaying the same blind spot to Disability Studies that has been in place for decades, but they're willing to keep an open mind as well. So I think this will work. Please note that I am not interested in physical disability right now, nor am I interested in "madness" as it has been traditionally studied. I am bringing entirely new constructs to the table (not that I created them, I'm just in a place to apply them). I'm excited about this challenge. And yes, keeping an open mind.

We also discussed other professional activities. There are a number of lecture/reading groups, and I am looking to get involved with the Religion Reading Group and the Household Seminar. I also got some (a ton!) of reading material to start slogging through. I will do so, dutifully, though I hate reading Chaucer. Maybe there's a modern translation so I can skim for the important bits?

After that, I came back to the house to change my shoes and try to get online. My computer was being stubborn, so I left it and went to get proper groceries. They have vegetarian haggis. Tell me that's not TOTALLY AWESOME. And tell me, oh you meatetarians, that you don't secretly think that you'd prefer vegetarian haggis.* Lettuce is hard to find. Mostly all they have is iceberg (ew) and teeny tiny little expensive heads of organic. Cheese good. Bread expensive. Booze very cheap.

Then I made haggis because I was STARVING. And a salad. And crumpets. Margarine here is scary. It's too bright. I think I might splurge on organic butter next time.

Then not much happened because I was exhausted and passed out.


* I've had the real thing. Twice. I'm allowed to talk.

Things I Have Learned

• Watch out for buses. The side mirrors are dangerous.
  
• British people really do like to queue.
  
• "Mince." Thanks, Ramona!
  
• Mock the Week, the bizarre love-child of Whose Line Is It, Anyway? and Royal Canadian Air Farce (Jon Stewart, for you Americans)
  
• Vital wheat gluten is almost unheard-of here
  
• British people hate Bic mechanical pencils. Or at least, they don't like stocking them and they charge a lot for them.
  
• There are indeed a lot of ducks on campus.
  
• Ugly campus art is universal.
  
• "Salad cream" is gross and proper salad dressing is tough to find.
  
• The peanut butter sucks.
  

I'm sure I will add more to this as time goes on.

Settling in, Day the Second

Even though I set my alarm (for 0800), I slept in. After a day and a half of travelling, and a red-eye with no sleep, I needed it. I woke up around 1100, got my head sorted out, double-checked my shopping list, and headed over to King's Manor (my academic building). The first-year PhDs were having lunch together, so it was perfect. It was nice to meet my year-mates. We're going to be here for 3 years together, so we better get to know each other.

Then C. showed me the computer room and I got myself enrolled. I looked some stuff up, checked my email, and let people know I was still alive. Pondered the different banks. I wrote initially that I'd take care of that first thing, but I'm only going to get to it tomorrow. Ah well.

I went over to the Centre for Medieval Studies building (at King's Manor but separate from the main building) and introduced myself to the secretary, God, who was very nice and helpful. She called the residence people and asked about my linens, showed me around the building, and found me a city map. She also helped me locate a bike shop and a sundries shop. There's a study room and while I don't get an office I do get a bookshelf. A bookshelf of my very own!

I then set out to get my shopping done. I was armed with a map and thus full of win. I went past Yorkminster and stopped in. Gorgeous! I'll have to stop by for evensong one night. I saw where Constantine was proclaimed emperor in 306 - which explains my residence's name, I guess. I enjoyed tromping through the streets, and I found a Boyes (sort of like a Saan or Giant Tiger). I got nearly everything I needed (including a new sink plug!), but it took a while. They had every sort of cord but ethernet cords. I wish I knew where I could find something like Radio Shack or Best Buy here.

I got a mug - a mug that is mine and only mine. Can't be home without a mug.

I stopped in at the local Indian/spice shop on my way to the bike shop, and I like it there. They sell chilis and rice and spices, ghee, noodles, etc. They carry Laziza brand spice mixes, so I asked if they could get me the Bombay Biryani. I also asked about taro, and the shop guy said he'd see if they could get it in from Leeds. But the really cool thing about the shop is that they will custom-mix various curry pastes for you. Being in a biryani sort of mood, I got that. It was fun watching him snip up the chilis and plop in the paste and add the spices on top. No dried plums in the mix, Ramona, so maybe I'll toss in a couple snipped apricots and see how it goes. I forgot to check for saffron. Darn. And a chai mix, or at least some darjeeling. Where's a Bulk Barn when you need one?

The bike shop can't reassemble my bike until Friday morning, and they want 60 quid. I need to double-check that, because that's a heck of a lot. Someone in the house might be willing to help me reassemble it instead.

I finally found a computer shop for a cord, but they were closed! I grabbed a couple other small items to make dinner when I got back. I started cooking, but screwed up the couscous. It came out less than ideal, as a result. But I ate it, and some leftover curry, because everyone had been cooking strong-smelling food and it made me want something savoury.

My sheets had arrived, and they are crap. Rubbish. I know I'm a bit of a fabric snob, but really! At least I have them for now, and I'll bring myself back a set in May. Top sheets are an oddity here, but it feels wrong not having one. Thank heavens I brought a proper quilt and my nice pillow.

And then I read far too late into the night and slept again.

Settling In, Day the First

C., who let me in, showed me my room and the basics of the house: kitchen, bathroom, common room. I started unpacking and discovered I had no sheets. I'd ordered them, but they were not there. Cranky me.

I mostly unpacked, and my room is small, but I've had a lot smaller and I will be fine. There's enough storage and space, or there will be once I get my bike unboxed. The sink plus was unbelievably grotty.

Honestly, I felt pretty wretched. With my linens undelivered, I had to shower with only a t-shirt to use as a towel, I knew no one, I couldn't use the phone (needs a phone card), and I couldn't get online. Plus, I was getting hungry. I did use the shower, because that's just plain essential after travelling, and went down to the kitchen and made myself a pot of tea. I parked myself in the common room, and so got to meet other residents. They all seem nice so far, and one even offered to show me the take-away curry. I was lost and hungry and she didn't feel like cooking, so it worked out very well. She also showed me the corner store and I got a few things for cooking with. Back at the house, we shared the curry around. It was not bad, but I've had better, and the room full of us watched "City of Vice." Hilarious.

Around 10, I gave my dad and Brent a call, having finally figured out the phone. I made myself a shopping list and used Excellent David's converter to plug my alarm clock in. I read for a short bit, and fell asleep.

(To be continued...)

Across the Water

Hello from the other side! Yes, it's taken me this long to get to my computer. Well, I managed yesterday but I was so tired from all the walking around the city that I just went to sleep. But I am awake today, despite my walking, and so I am going to post! I wrote a bunch of stuff down earlier, before I had net, so the thoughts are still fresh!

****

I pretty much freaked out the entire way to the airport. My dad started off driving reeeeally slowly (understandable since he was driving a big, unfamiliar vehicle) but it freaked me out. I am so paranoid about being late for things like flights, and I still wanted to visit my mom in the hospital. We did make a far-too-short stop at the hospital so I could say good-bye and collect a hug. She was doing really well, and I'm glad I knew that before I left.

It was -20°C when we got to the airport. A good way to leave, honestly! All told, I had packed more than 30 kilos over the weight allowance for the flight. I expected that, but I figured it was cheaper to bring it over than to buy it again in pounds sterling. The check-in guy nearly gave me a heart attack when he said it was going to cost $500, but he'd forgotten that I was allowed 20 kilos free. Then Brent and I ran circles trying to get my bike checked. With that accomplished, I headed through security. I had very little with me, but it was jumbled all in a mess, since they'd made me check my carry-on and I'd had to do a rapid sort and re-pack.

The Duty Free does not carry screech. Bastards.

The plane ride was good, all considered. It was quite empty and so I had my whole half-row to myself. I read for a while, then enjoyed dinner: chana masala and a tasty salad. The flight attendant was wonderful and brewed extra tea so I could fill my travel mug and enjoy it longer. Airplane mugs are so tiny. Snack was a carrot sandwich, which became less mystifying when I discovered it had hummus, too. Apparently when you tell people you're vegan (no ovo-lacto vegetarian option was given) they put tasty hummus on your sandwich instead of nasty butter or mayo. I couldn't really sleep, but I tried. Next thing I knew, we were landing in Glasgow, and I got my first look at Scotland!

We landed in Glasgow at about 0800hrs local time, early. But Manchester was cranky and wouldn't let us arrive there early, so we sat at the gate for an hour and a half, doing nothing, not even allowed off the plane. It was gloomy and rainy in Scotland, but distressingly empty of sheep. Still, pretty.

Landing in Manchester went well, though a little bumpy and even gloomier and rainier than Scotland. All my luggage and my bike took up two carts, which I - with a skill that would make an octopus jealous - navigated through the halls to the train station. They changed my train's platform at the last minute and about a half-dozen of us got on the wrong train. We got off at the next station and had to sidetrack over to Manchester-Picadilly station to catch up with the proper train. A kind gent helped me with my bags. He had to get to Leeds, just one station before York, and he helped me through all the transfers.

(Lost in Wilmslow)

(Manchester Picadilly Station)

One station short of Leeds, the trains got stalled because of flooding in a particular tunnel. It's been raining here a lot, apparently. We sat on the tracks for an hour. My companion was cranky, but I just sort of passed out a few times. 1600hrs local time, I get to York station. I got my bags (but not my bike) on a cart and couldn't find another one. I just kind of stood there in consternation, trying to figure this out, until a station operator saw me and helped me re-stack them to include the bike. MAN, those guys can pack! He also helped me out of the station and got me a cab. In the dark and rain, I picked up my keys and went to my res. I tipped well.

My key wouldn't turn, so I rang the bell and someone answered. She let me in, introduced herself, and explained that the keys work, but are tricky. Then she showed me my room.

(To be continued....)

Sick to my stomach...

Okay folks, going to the airport in an hour.

Wish me luck!

To-Do, 20-01-08

1. Church (noon at St. Raph's)
   
2. COBS
   
3. Visit mom
   
4. Clean room
   
5. Finish packing
   
6. Trade car for van
   
7. Pack van
   
8. Double-check paperwork !!!!!
   
9. Airport
   
10. Freak out (this item could really go anywhere on this list)
    

I'm tired and more tired and yeah. This is going to be kind of rough. I love you all, and I'll post again when I can.

To-Do, 19-01-08

1. Credit Union re: banking options, line of credit I love my credit union.
   
2. CAA for another round of traveller's cheques
   
3. Visit mom
   
4. COBS for delicious baked goods - will do after church
   
5. Set up webcam
   
6. Reduce cell plan to cheapest possible option
   
7. Still more packing panic
   
8. Clean room - oops.
   
9. Freak Out
   
10. Ceilidh time!
    

To-Do, Friday 18-01-08

1. Dig out cell phone receipt
   
2. Call optometrist re: exam fee
   
3. Doctor's office to pick up medical records and X-ray results
   
4. Waterloo! Yay! (Don't forget MS Studies book)
   
5. CAA for traveller's cheques
   
6. Take cell phone receipt to FIDO and exchange phone
   
7. Photocopy papers
   
8. Future Shop to take advantage of extended warranty package on mic
   
9. Visit mom
   
10. double-check packing
    

Time's getting short...

Hey look! A productive day!

To Do, Thursday 17-01-08

I've got a lot to do tomorrow, so once again, I'm posting a to-do list. It's my blog, and I'll post as many as I want to. Nyah!

1. See mum off to the hospital (0615hrs, please say a prayer for her surgery!) It went well!
   
2. Haircut
   
3. Salon
   
4. Grocery store to buy berries for flying
   
5. Call PC Financial re: account forwarding They say they can't do that and I need to be a resident of Canada to maintain the account. I smell something fishy.
   
6. Visit credit union re: the same
   
7. FIDO to put my phone on hold and cancel the voicemail while I'm at it
   
8. Call OSAP re: Confirmation of Enrolment form They dragged their bleeping feet mailing me the form, so I call to get them to forward it to England and they can't because they mailed it today.
   
9. Chiropodist (1330hrs, don't forget the shoes) Bastard. The orthodics guy screwed them up again and I have to send them back, which means I won't have them when I travel. At least he's going to have to pay the postage, not me. Sucker.
   
10. CAA to buy traveller's cheques (Curse you, Canadian markets! Couldn't you have tanked next week?)
    
11. Photocopy paperwork
    
12. Optometrist (1545hrs, wear contacts and bring specs) ZOMG AWESOME DOCTOR!
    
13. Lenscrafters I can SEEEEEE!
    
14. Visit mum She's doing good, what a relief!
    

Busy day. Will be tired at the end of it. Tea and pyjamas.

Dear You,

You're not online, so I'm leaving you a note. The ticket is yours! July 29th: you, me, the Doctor, Hamlet. It's a date.

Woo!

Dress Excitement!

My mother finished my dress! It is lovely, and the pictures simply do not do her handiwork justice. The colours are deeper, richer, and less shiny, and the dress isn't so... lumpy-looking.

But, without further ado:

The underdress, from the front.

The underdress, from the back. I love the lacing.

The dresses together, from the front.

The dresses together, from the back. I am loving the train, inconvenient though it may be.

A close-up on the neckline.

What can I say? Costumes are fun!

Blogging Against Aversives, 14-01-08

Mike Reynolds at Uppity Disability started this the other day. I'm a bit late to the party, but I'd like to chime in, because this is important.

At several institutions for "troubled" youth in the United States (and, I imagine, elsewhere), "aversive therapies" are employed to correct behaviour. The "therapies" include withholding food, isolation, and electric shocks. The behaviours range from self-injurious to "nagging." Many of the children and youth imprisoned at these "schools" are autistic, mentally disabled, abuse victims, or any combination of the above.

The link to Uppity Disability (above) has more details and many more links, because yesterday was "Blogging Against Aversives" day. I don't have the stomach to rehash it all, so check them out if you're not sure what I'm talking about. Odd One Out has an excellent summary of the situation, complete with a list of issues a 2006 noted with the Judge Rotenberg Center (the most well-known "aversive therapies" school). Not Dead Yet includes a rather chilling conversation with one of the founders of the electric shock "therapy."

Let's start with where I stand on this issue: Electroshock as an aversive is outrageous. I'm shocked that it isn't illegal.

Where I work, we have aggressive and self-injurious residents. We have autistic residents. It's illegal for us to even withhold dessert. We're not allowed to defend ourselves from attack, except in strictly non-violent and ministry-approved ways. And I'm not about to divulge specifics, but if we can hack it with the behaviours we get, there is no excuse for anyone to be using electroshock.

There are other ways to deal with problem behaviours, even serious ones. Many of these centres forbid the use of medications. Some of the kids there have behaviours that can be positively altered or even eliminated by very common and effective drugs. Rather than punishing kids for acting out, counselling and actual therapy should be used to get at the roots of a problem. In extreme cases where self-injury is an issue, environment modification can make a person safer.

Now, one might be tempted to dismiss such behaviour as "medieval." An it's certainly true that the infamous Hospital of St. Mary Bethlehem could be compared to the JRC. Yet St. Mary Bethlehem was a post-medieval institution, and the widespread segregation and seclusion of mentally impaired persons seems to be a depressingly modern institution. The (admittedly sparse) literature on the subject locates the mentally impaired person outside the hospital. As far as we can tell, they were not segregated until the early-modern (rennaissance) period.**

What are we doing? Why do we permit this? What is wrong with us, as a society, that we seem to have regressed in our treatment of troubled children? Even the worst criminals in our prisons are not tortured like this. 1,000 years ago, right in the middle of the so-called Dark Ages, children were not treated like this.

If you live in a state with one of these abusive "schools," please write your governor. Sign the petition online. Write your senator. Write your congressman. This is absurd. This is a shame on all of us.



** Tim Stainton. “Medieval Charitable Institutions and Intellectual Impairment.” Journal on Developmental Disabilities. 8 no. 2 (2001).
M. Carlin. “Medieval English hospitals.” The hospital in history. ed. L. Granshaw and R. Porter (London: Routledge, 1989), 21-40.

I'm at the startin' line of the rest of my life...

The song I mentioned the other day was in my head all day today. Particularly the chorus, which runs:
I'm at the startin' line of the rest of my life
As ready as I'll ever be
I've got the hunger and the stars in my eyes
The prize is mine to see

It occurred to me this evening that this is probably the last time I'll live in the house I grew up in. It's been almost 22 years, and it's always been here, been home, even when I lived away at school. But now I'm moving far away, for a long time, and my parents might not even live here by the time I get back. I'm just a visitor now. This is... painful. It's a hard thought. The rest of my life, indeed.

Aside from that, today was quite lovely. I got my bike boxed up and shoved a few more items into my carry-on and my suitcase. I figure I'm going for broke on the baggage weight limit anyway, so I might as well make sure I have what I need. Moving is not cheap.

Went out for a round or two at the local pool hall/bowling alley with my dad. We played a game of snooker (I really, really sucked) and a game of pool (I didn't suck so badly). Apparently I have a pretty good hold on the cue, just need practice. And aim. Dad taught me how to sink a ball when it's lying flush on the rail. We spent time together and both of us really enjoyed it. I smiled the rest of the evening.

The rest of the week is really busy. Tomorrow I do tons of little errands and make some phone calls. Check in at Oaklands, pick up a paycheque, and see if some of my friends on staff are there. Call my sister. Wednesday sees more errands, and tea and talk with Laura. Thursday I'm going to get a hair trim, orthodics, eyeglasses prescription, and new eyeglasses. Friday going to the city where I did my undergrad to spend time with a friend (possibly two). Saturday will be full of last-minute packing, cleaning, vacuuming, and the Rabbie Burns ceilidh (complete with haggis)! Sunday: church, lunch, flying.

After that, I'll be incommunicado unless I hit a wireless hotspot or am remarkably lucky setting up the residence internet service.

Ready as I've ever been!

More Travel Prep (With Bonus OSAP Note!)

My apologies to anyone who's getting thoroughly sick of all the lists of travel prep details. 6 more days and we'll be into the funner* stuff like Eaquae's Travel Mishaps and Unintelligible Accents. I warn you, the amount of Latin whining is going to increase dramatically, though.

I have solved my packing dilemma, at least to my satisfaction. Ramona's dad suggested something called "unaccompanied baggage," so I called the airline about it, and they do it, but through their cargo shipping company. When I called the cargo company, they told me just to pay the excess weight fees and be done with it. The amount I'm shipping is small enough to still fit a suitcase, and if I just take it as luggage, I pick it up on the baggage carousel and go right to customs and immigration. With cargo, you have to do all that, and then make your way to the shipping area, fill out the paperwork to get your stuff, and then go back through customs again. Plus, they charge roughly the same. (Side note: If it came down to it, Canada Post has the cheapest shipping costs by far. FedEx, Purolator, and UPS are all about twice as expensive. Whoda thunk it?)

And it seems that someone at OSAP has their head on proper. Last week, I was told that OSAP moves at a glacially slow pace. No surprise there, but plenty of frustration. Today, the paperwork arrived. Apparently someone in the office realised the extreme silliness of waiting to print, and then waiting even longer to mail. Good on you, Anonymous OSAP Office Drone! I salute you!

Which means I have almost all my ducks lined up.

Freaky.



*"Millennia" is not a word, according to Firefox, but "funner" is. Crazy spellcheck.

To-Do

Call credit card company and notify them that I'm moving.
Call banks, ask them to forward my mail.
Buy £500.
Optometrist, then Lenscrafters.
Chiropodist for orthodics.
Buy snacks for flight - berries.
Go to ceilidh!
Give stuff away.

Trouble

I have begun packing in earnest. Roughly halfway there, I am at my maximum baggage weight limit. This is bad.

I can take some of the clothes out. That's not a huge deal. Books will get shifted into my laptop case if possible - they don't weigh those. Liquids are already at a minimum. I think I can sneak a few things into my bike box.

And I'll have to pay for the extra kilos, but I'd like to keep that down if possible.

A little bit of peace

I had some country-music-inspired sobbing episodes on Thursday. More sobbing tonight. Uprooting is hard.

I'm really glad for my dad. He was wonderful and hugged me while I cried and then helped me pick a fighting style to get involved with at York. I'm going to learn ju jitsu! And we talked for a while, and I managed to find him on MSN at last. Knowing that the lines of communication and contact are that much stronger did a lot to stabilise me.

We just talked for a while, and made a date for just the two of us. I'm going to miss him.

He also encouraged me that this is not the end of the world, and if it doesn't work out, that's not the end of the world either. I promised him I'd set some concrete goals for my first month at York, to give me focus and to strive for. I arrive in York on Jan 21st, and Feb 21st is a memorable date for personal reasons, so One Month it is.

Ten One-Month Goals: (in no particular order)
1. Establish my kitchen. Find the staples, spices, and equipment that I will need in order to successfully feed myself.
2. Join the ju jitsu club.
3. Find a church.
4. Bike around campus and learn where the important buildings (admin, library, international students office, shops) are.
5. Have tea with at least two classmates or housemates.
6. Meet with my advisors and figure out my schedule (including Latin class).
7. Acquire a cheap Region 2 DVD player and Season 1 of F/X: the Series. Watch it.
8. Chase some ducks.
9. Make my room feel like home.
10. Spend at least one morning walking around the downtown.

Oh, SparkPeople, you are so timely

Today's article isn't 100% applicable to me, since I doubt I can bring fresh fruit and veggies on the trip, but I might give it a try. Pack a baggie of carrot sticks or something. Travelling is rough on a body, and I'd do well to minimize the damage.

I ordered the vegan meal on the flight (no just vegetarian option), and I think that'll be okay. Airplane meat is sketchy. Actually, given the length of the flight, and the fact that I get 1 snack and 1 meal, I'd better remember some snacks. Hypoglycemia at 40,000ft is not something I care to experience.

I often end up doing stretches on the floor in the terminal, and I usually get some funny looks. Hey, people, we're about to get stuck in a bunch of tiny tiny seats for 9 hours or so. I'm gonna be doing a lot of sitting, and I get sore. So stop looking at me funny, and sit and stretch with me. Trust me, you'll feel better!

Good Service

My visa arrived today.

Tomorrow is a busy day, but I have company!

Bike fixed up for flight.
Wind-proof gloves.
Pick out glasses.
Packing clothes and books.
Room cleaning.
Used bookstore to get rid of the box of used books.
Laundry. Lotsa laundry.

Must Be A Slow Season...

Your application has been approved and the visa has been issued. Please allow a minimum of 3 working days for your documents to be sent to you and also before tracking your package with our office.

Woot!

And I've booked a flight for 20 Jan, 2008. $400 with taxes, insurance, etc.

I'm committed. Hopefully I don't have another panic attack like this morning.

Why

Voices of Self-Determination. Why am I so passionate about disability issues and disability history? Go find out.

Update on Red Tape

My visa has made it to the British High Commission and I've received and email to that effect.

Processing of your application starts now and normally takes 5 working days for straightforward non-settlement applications. [...] If your application has been approved, you will receive further notification when the visa has been issued. You should allow a minimum of 3 working days for your documents to be sent to you by Priority Courier and also before tracking your package. Doing the math, that means it should be posted back to me next Wednesday and will not likely be in my hands before the following Monday (the 21st). That tanks the hope to fly on the 20th.

OSAP, meanwhile, received my supporting documentation on Christmas Eve, and has sat on it since then. I called today, and the reply was "Oh yes, we got those in December. I'll update your file now." Thanks, OSAP. Top-notch service there. The papers will print this weekend. (Why not sooner? It's just hitting "print" on the computer.) They will be mailed next Thursday. (What, the post doesn't get sent out every day?) Presumably I'll get them the following week.

Your bloody slow incompetence has added another week to my waiting, OSAP. I'm sure you don't care two figs for the fact that I'm paying through the freaking nose for housing I can't use, and I won't even be on campus when the term's payment is due. I can't book my flights, and the cost is going up every day. You're a bunch of bloody-minded devils, you are!

Sorry, folks, bad day over here.

Most Excellent Airline

Not only does Zoom Airlines have the cheapest flights I can find ($229 Toronto->Manchester), and not only do they transport bicycles free of charge, they also have a rather impressive "green" policy.

My favourite highlights:

• All of our drinks tumblers will be made from corn starch instead of plastic. On-board cutlery and hot meal dishes will be made from sugar beet and cane products; and drinks stirrers will be made of wood from renewable sources.
  
• Our tea, coffee, sugar and orange juice products – both on board our aircraft and in our offices – are all sourced from approved FairTrade suppliers, guaranteeing a fair price for the commodity producers in regions of Africa, Asia and Latin America. We’re also proud to be offering a choice of beers and wines on our flights, which will include FairTrade products.
  
• Environment briefings for every staff member during induction and initial training – including providing them with low-energy light-bulbs to reduce their electricity usage and carbon output at home. [my emphasis]
  
• Zoom is also actively focusing on environmental issues when agreeing service contracts with our suppliers including catering companies, ground handling companies and the hotels in which our aircrews stay.
  

What can I say? I'm impressed. Check this airline out, folks, if you're flying. Fares are cheap and you're reducing your enviro-footprint a little.

The one seamstress with a needle*

Today mum and I went fabric shopping. For my M.A. grad, she decided to make me a medieval(esque) dress as a gift. I say "esque" because I'm not a specialist in medieval textiles, and the fabric options are limited anyway. It's close enough for my SCA purposes. I'll have something to wear if I get involved with the re-enactment society at York.

The under dress is a delicious ecru sort of colour, not what I originally had in mind (I'd planned less brown), but it goes very nicely with the dark red fabric for the over dress. It takes an awful lot of fabric (15m, together), but it's going to look lovely. I'm quite excited. (The colours don't show up perfectly in the pics there.)

Pictures to follow.


Meanwhile:

I'd love to see him act out a gerundive. Perhaps atterendus.

And also: I want to be this guy. He has my dream life.


* If you don't "get" the title, you obviously need to read more Terry Pratchett.

As V(countdown)->C...

Dentist? Check! (no cavities!)
Chiropodist? Check!
Packing begun? Check!
Cleaning begun? Check!

Jan 7th - Movie with [just me].
Jan 8th - Fabric shopping with mom. Dinner with Laura. Cleaning.
Jan 17th - Orthotics fitting.

I've started piling stuff into a suitcase. Heaven help me.

In which I babble over a new book

Today I received in the mail Introduction to Manuscript Studies, by Raymond Clemens and Timothy Graham.

This is a MUST-HAVE book for anyone messing around with medieval manuscripts. I'm serious. If I had had this book this time last year, my Codicology class would have been significantly easier. This book is incredibly useful. It has chapters on the making of medieval manuscripts (four of them, including one on binding, on text, on glosses and corrections, and on tools). It has chapters (6) on reading manuscripts: general info, punctuation and abbreviation, damaged MSS, origins and provenance, description, and selected scripts. It has lists of common abbreviations, lists of unique features of scripts to help you date and place them. All in one book. It then has chapters on some manuscript genres. There's a glossary (very useful for the novice), and a section on tools for study of medieval Latin, with some books I have not heard of before but which may prove invaluable, since much of my own study will involve teasing out the delicate nuances of a single word here, a phrase there, etc.

Not only is it just dripping usefulness, it is absolutely gorgeous. Full-colour glossy with pictures almost every page.

It's a heavy volume, but I will just have to make room for it. Perhaps in my laptop bag, which they don't normally weigh.

If you have any interest at all in manuscript studies, you need this book.

Time Dialation

Time is speeding up. I'm estimating roughly two weeks before I fly, now. I've got so very much to do, and so many people to spend time with, and it feels like I have no time at all.

6th Jan - Hang out with big sister Steph.
7th Jan - Clean room. Chiropodist. Movie with brother?
8th Jan - Nothing yet. Clean room. [Visa arrives at British High Commission]
9th Jan - Doctor appointment. Optometrist. Dinner with Melissa?
10-11th Jan - Waterloo.
12-13th Jan - Rest. Clean Room. Begin packing.
14th/15th Jan - [Visa approved? Sent by courier?] Clean room. Organise books. Packing.
16th/17th Jan - Receive visa. Book flight. PACK. Panic.

The Same the World Over

I should have been more careful. I've been applying for student loans for seven (eight?) years now. I've submitted two SSHRC applications and one Ontario Graduate Scholarship. I am not unfamiliar with the arcane and draconian regulations that one must adhere to. Actually, by now I should be actively seeking out the ways in which they trip you up. 1.42" margins? BAM! Helvetica font? BAM! 35x45mm passport photo? Err...

You see, Canadian passport photos are a different size from British ones. If you see the requirement "one passport-sized photograph," naturally you would go and get a passport-sized photograph taken. You can probably be forgiven for not realising this is not the normal Canadian size. I know I never took a ruler to my old passport pics.

But alas, our photos are bigger. Too big for a British visa application.

It's a fortunate thing that your generic and sketchy mall "4 photos in 3 minutes!" photo booth takes, you guessed it, 35x45mm pictures. So all my efforts to have a decent photograph for once are in vain.

I guess I still have the pictures.

Oh, and my application has now been submitted.

Visa, visa, bo-bisa...

I submitted my visa application today, and I get fingerprinted tomorrow. Aie.

I've now dedicated ~$600 to this, and I feel committed. No backing out now. Anxiety level: high.

Alrighty, off to make photocopies and get passport-like photos taken.

International Dialling Codes

A website to help one figure out the intricacies of international dialling. Very helpful.

Victory!

Well, folks, I'm in. I received my housing letter today via email! York has been fabulous with helping me get all my paperwork. I don't know who hired the admin staff, but they are doing a bang-up job, and I want to hug them all. They have gone above and beyond for me. They have faxed and emailed and expedited their hearts out. Thanks, York Admin Staff.

Anyway, I have a place to live! And it's the exact house I wanted! It's the closest one to my building. Since my building is ~1.5mi from main campus, this is a big deal. On chilly wet days, I don't want to have to travel far. Don't get me wrong - the library, all the shops, admin, and the gym are all on main campus, so I'll be trekking over there quite often. I just don't want to have to make the trip every single day.

Man, I'm so excited. All I need now is my OSAP papers.

Baffling Visa Requests

When you apply for a visa to the UK, the online form asks if you have ever had a passport in the past. When you say "yes," it asks what happened to it, and the identification number and issuing location, if possible. Problem is, if it expired and you chucked it, you don't have the information in all likelihood. And even though it says "if possible," it won't let you proceed until you enter the information.

Don't throw out your old passport, if you ever plan to apply for a visa.

Also, be warned that they ask for a huge amount of information (eg. In one field, they asked for my educational history since I was 11. My ages, my schools, the location, the years, graduation date, and what degree/diploma I earned.) and give you a teeny maximum character limit. You will be maddened.

The last time I post from work!

Last shift! Woo! I'm so very ready for a break.

It feels very fitting to be ending now, with the new year. I spent New Year's Eve at Daybreak, and it was a wonderful way to celebrate the passage of time. Despite all the unfamiliar faces, it still felt like home. The Taizé service was much too short, and had me in tears by the end, wishing that I was still a member of the community.

I've discovered in the years since I left that many people in disability services have never heard of l'Arche, and that is a darn big crying shame. Although perhaps it is to my advantage, as someone else might have been inspired to investigate my research area before now. It was telling, to me, that when I explained my ideas, people there actually listened. There was none of the usual "They were persecuted as witches right? They thought they were demon-possessed! Didn't they kill them at birth?" reaction that I have gotten over and over at Oaklands. It was quite remarkable, and very refreshing! Because of the mindset l'Arche encourages, people there didn't immediately assume folks with mental impairments were always treated and regarded poorly. I do wish more people were aware of l'Arche, and its wonderful mission.

The service felt time-out-of-time. Kairos. I can't explain it, but if you ever find yourself in Toronto on a Friday night, and are looking for a more meaningful experience than the bars downtown, I highly recommend visiting.

Moving on to a more mundane topic, I have begun making lists in earnest. Lists for things I need to do to be able to leave. Things I need to pack. Paperwork I need to copy and account for. People I want to visit again before I go. Things I need to arrange for arriving and ensuring residence. Medical appointments I need to book before leaving. Things I need to do once I am housed, in order to settle. Dominoes and more dominoes. I think this morning I will make my medical calls (dentist, optometrist (Jan 09), chiropodist, family doctor [medical records copy, immunisations and prescriptions], TB x-ray). Huzzah* for being insured again! Then, after I have slept, I will get some photocopying done (all school paperwork/letters, all ID and money-related cards, degrees, visa forms). I think that's enough for one day!

Later this week, I will be in Toronto for visa stuffs (you have to get fingerprinted) and visiting. Go me!



* Did you know that Firefox's spellcheck rejects "hurray," but not "huzzah"?

"Dear Ms Legit...."

My acceptance letter came today. I am officially IN, and all I need now is my OSAP assessment and a trip into Toronto to get fingerprinted.

After all these months of waiting, things are finally beginning to move fast, very fast. If I get my biometrics done on the 2nd, and post the visa application on the 2nd, it could conceivably be back to me by the 11th, and I could be at York no more than one week into term. After all the frustration and waiting... I want things to slow down again.

Setting up the next domino chain

Time to start thinking visa. Here's my to-do list.

• Go to the CAA and get a passport photo taken. Remember to not look like doofus, as in past two occasions.
  
• Fill out VAF1 form.
  
• Write cheque for fee.
  
• Make copies of degrees. Make copies of funding proof.
  
• Write "a letter stating [my] intentions on completion of [my] course".
  

I will do the paperwork tomorrow night at work, and get my photocopies and photo done shortly thereafter. Hurry, hurry, OSAP and York paperwork!

السلام عليكم

As-Salāmu `Alaykum, Alia.

Alia Qureshi died 19 December, 2007. Alia and I lived together at the l'Arche Daybreak "Green House" in 2003. I remember my time at the Green House with mixed feelings. On one hand, it was a joy to be at l'Arche and among people I loved. At the same time, it was hard being separated from people I loved, and un-l'Arche-like politics clouded the time.

Through the months I was there, I remember getting to know Alia. I remember arriving in the house and feeling quite intimidated by this tiny woman in her wheelchair. I wondered how we'd relate to each other, how we would communicate. Others seemed to enjoy a bond with her that transcended the words she couldn't speak. I was scared.

Then I got to know her a bit better. I enjoyed the time we spent together in the mornings and evenings, and bath time, which was really more like spa time. We would listen to music together; she had a tape deck and a number of Muslim music tapes. Sometimes we would listen to "A is for Allah," and I would learn about the Arabic alphabet. More often, we would listen to Dawud Wharnsby-Ali's tape, The Road to Madinah.*

Gradually, as we spent more and more time together, I remember feeling overwhelmed. At one point, I was the only person in the house doing routines with her on a regular basis, I had injured myself, and the general mood in the house was tense (for many other reasons). Meals could take upwards of three hours, and Alia would still be feeling sick through them. Looking back now, I wish I had been able to joy in the time better, but then I was exhausted. I wish I had known her better.

I remember her as a dancer, primarily. The sickness was a disguise. It shadowed her, and when she danced, her real self was allowed to shine. When she danced, her wheelchair was transformed from a necessary encumbrance to a vehicle for her art and her spirit. Many nights when she was well, would would dance in the dining room together, wheeling her in loops and circles in time to the music she loved so much. She would throw back her head and laugh: a deep, whole-body laugh that made you laugh as well for the sheer joy of it, of life and living.

I remember doing so much to try to coax her to laugh. Until this very minute, I was wondering if our relationship had ever been very deep, but remembering her laugh, and all the times I made noises for her to giggle at or danced with her, I realise how much her laugh meant to me. It was infectious, and a delight when it was heard.

Ali-Liu Qureshi. Daybreak core member, daughter, sister, friend. Loved by her family and the many people who lived with her, danced with her, or simply saw her dance.

I compare my time with Alia to my time at Oaklands. At Oaklands, bathing is often done as quickly as possible. There are too few staff for too many residents, and it's a good day when we have time for bubble baths. With Alia, it was simply the way things were. It was important to spend the time together, to relax. It was not a matter of business, it was facilitating a bath that was as much as possible the bath I would wish to be given. It's an interesting thing, and a good thing, for me to remember.

I don't know if other people have trouble thinking of acknowledgements or thank-yous, when it comes time to affix them to a dissertation. I know mine will be a simple matter. To Alia, and Keith, and Jane, Mike, Carol, Francis, Peter, Whitney... to all of you, living or departed. Thank you for opening my eyes and teaching me to love.

Carl MacMillan, the community leader, wrote a wonderful tribute to Alia on the Daybreak website, and I recommend reading it.

As-Salāmu `Alaykum, Alia.

And now, the packing.

Being the proud new owner of two 32" suitcases and one 24" suitcase, I'm beginning to turn my mind to packing.

So I ask you, what should I remember not to forget?

More Useful Links!

Okay, so just one for now.

Information for International Students who are looking for part-time work.

Student Living and Student Life

Sent the housing application off today via regular post. It has carbon copies and suchlike, so I couldn't fax it.

I've applied to two houses near King's Manor (the building which houses the Centre for Medieval Studies), one a bit further away, and a couple on campus, ranked largely according to their proximity to my building. Here's hoping, though I'm worried because I'm arriving in January and will probably get the dregs.

I've found some interesting links over at the York website, namely the Clubs and Societies website. The Medieval Reinactment society looks fun, as does the Astronomy Club, the Real Ale Society, and the Science Fiction and Fantasy group. I'm a little disappointed at not seeing a Catholic society listed, but I imagine I'll find one around when I get there. Ah! There it is!

Oh, and Worship services. I'll feel much more at home if I can find a church I'm comfortable at.

I'm also a little disappointed to see that the university gym doesn't have a pool. However, they do have a good number of martial arts groups, including aikido, capoeira, fencing, jujitsu, and karate. The list of sporting clubs also includes Ben Lairig, which seems to be an organised "ramble through the countryside" group. Further digging reveals a swimming and waterpolo group. Sweet! There's also caving and canoeing and "octopush."

I'll have to see how my class load is, but I think I'm going to try to get involved in at least one social activity and one sporting activity. Perhaps I'm finally going to be geographically stable enough to take up a martial art! I know I'm going to be lonely, so I'm going to take active steps to not be a hermit! Plus, I'd love to get back into swimming. Or take up a martial art.

I'm feeling the positive, for once, not the SCARY LONELY FEAR. It's a nice feeling.

The systems stink, but sometimes the admins are golden

Last night at work I realised that if my OSAP paperwork didn't arrive today, I would not be able to submit it to York before the office closed for Christmas, effectively losing two weeks of Red Tape Time. And even if by some miracle it did come, the time difference would mean the office would be closed. Drat.

So I called York, fully prepared to beg. I was eventually connected with a wonderful woman in the Graduate Studies Office who consulted with someone else (a superior of some sort, I guess). She said that if I faxed the funding documentation I have now (two bank statements, a credit card statement, and the line of credit document), they'll assume the student loans paperwork will arrive before I fly over. And she'd mail out the final offer of admittance right away, so it would get in the post today.

So even though I can't send it back to them until January, I can get going on my visa as soon as it gets here. I was beginning to despair of getting out of here before February. Moral of the story: sometimes people are really nice and understanding, if you just call and ask. Thank you, wonderful Ms. Libby, thank you. I hope your Christmas break is wonderful, relaxing, and joyful.

In semi-related news, my manager at work informed me last night that he will extend my contract if I am still around past 05 Jan, which is when it would otherwise expire. I'm glad, because I'll have something to do, and can pick up shifts at the PT rate.

I've decided to keep working until I submit my visa application. The visa turnaround is supposed to be quite quick, and I'll be flying out as soon as I can after I get it. I'll use that time to freak out and be clingy. And pack.

On the road again?

My transcript from UofT arrived today.

I will post it "next day" shipping this afternoon, along with all the other paperwork OSAP wants.

Hopefully we can get this show on the road again.

I suppose the silver gilt on the cloud is that all these delays have resulted in the deposit of another couple of paycheques into my account, making that number also kind of nice to show York.

Can't wait to be on the road again....

OSAP: Basil Fawlty Edition

Advice for those with one-year M.A. programs, cleverly disguised as angry ranting.

At least, if you live in Ontario (though I imagine other provinces are similar).

If you take a one year M.A. program, OSAP gets suspicious when you apply for another "first year" the next year. They understandably don't like it when students switch programs too often, since it shows a lack of focus and they probably aren't getting their money's worth.

But honestly, folks. Did you even glance at my application? At the part that makes me fill out my entire academic history and what programs I was in when? Go on, take a look. Yes, see the M.A. clearly listed as "Year 1 of a 1 Year Program." Mhm. That means that I am now done that degree! It's over!

And under the space for the current program? Where it says Ph.D.? Folks, this is not some directionless drunken general arts major farting around. It should be quite clear why I am applying for the first year of a program again.

And UofT! Yes, you! What's up with the transcript nonsense? Any time a student needs an official transcript, they need it in a sealed envelope, or else it's invalid. That means if I order two transcripts, and you send them both in the same envelope, one of them is completely rahling useless! This should not be news to you. This is true for every instance in which an official transcript is needed.

So, folks, here's the advice part of this post. If you have applied to the first year of a program two years in a row, OSAP is going to demand transcripts, a photocopy of your SIN card, and a letter from you explaining things. They will not tell you about this until very late in the process. So get them ready beforehand.

Or you will end up like me, feeling much like this:

Forgive a Girl Her Excitement

The Halcyon's December issue is out!

My article begins on page 7: "A Neapolitan Royal Book of Hours."

Publish or Perish: You Have to Start Somewhere

Today I attended the Centre for Medieval Studies (U of Toronto) party celebrating the achievements of the codicology seminar last spring. That is, the work of the seminar students was of such a calibre that the professor and the director of the library decided it should be showcased in the semi-annual library newsletter, The Halcyon.

I was a member of that seminar, and I was assigned a lavishly illuminated Franciscan book of hours. My partner and I jumped at the chance to add this publication credit to our curricula vitarum. Also, we really loved our funny little manuscript, with its grinning skeleton and complicated provenance.

The result was unveiled at the party today. It was so exciting to see! My first academic publication! Scary David was the professor for the seminar, and he gave a warm welcome speech to us all. He's become... a little less scary.

I did good work in that class, and I'd like to think that's the impression he keeps of me. I had the chance to thank him afterwards for all that I learned in his classes. I did learn a lot, and I really value it. Not just the facts and names, but the mindset, the approach to medieval text, and (in general), how to be a grad student. I've come to realise I owe him a lot and I'm glad I was his student. I'm also glad I got to tell him so. (After all, Excellent David scared the living daylights out of me at first, too. And I struggled manfully in his class. Perhaps a trend?)

The Halcyon is available online, but the current issue isn't up yet. Those of you viewing the .pdf version are lucky: it has the colour manuscript images, as opposed to the black-and-white of the printed version. I only wish we could have included more images: they are truly amazing, especially the abnormally cheery skeleton heralding the Officium fidelium defunctorum.

Whack-a-Mole

Two people have pointed out to me that SSHRC's investigation of my application means that at least they haven't dismissed it out of hand.

WHACK! Down, hopes, down!

Oratio contra consilium ad considerandum trivii quadriviique

Quo usque tandem abutere, C.a.C.T.Qq, patientia nostra? Quam diu etiam furor iste tuus nos eludet? Quem ad finem sese effrenata iactabit audacia?*

There's a bug in the SSHRC website that allows one to enter a 2008 studies start date, but not the second field where you enter the information (it requires a 2007 date).

Ad mortem te, C.a.C.T.Qq, duci iussu consulis iam pridem oportebat, in te conferri pestem, quam tu in nos omnes iam diu machinaris.**

SSHRC has noticed this inconsistency and emailed my advisor at York, who emailed me. I explained the situation to her, so hopefully she will be able to clear it up with them.

Tum denique interficiere, cum iam nemo tam inprobus, tam perditus, tam tui similis inveniri poterit, qui id non iure factum esse fateatur.***

I'm going to be very upset if I lose out on a SSHRC just because their stupid website has inconsistent field value requirements.

------

* When, O SSHRC, do you mean to cease abusing our patience? How long is that madness of yours still to mock us? When is there to be an end of that unbridled audacity of yours, swaggering about as it does now? (Cicero, Oratio in Catilinam, I.1)
** You ought, O SSHRC, long ago to have been led to execution by command of the consul. That destruction which you have been long plotting against us ought to have already fallen on your own head. (I.2)
*** I will put you to death, then, when there shall be not one person possible to be found so wicked, so abandoned, so like yourself, as not to allow that it has been rightly done. (I.5)

A New Month, the Same Old Red Tape

It's December 1st.

I still have not heard back from OSAP. This is incredibly depressing, and I have the sinking feeling that this is going to stretch out into mid-January, wreaking havoc with both my classes and my living arrangements. Hopefully some of this can be arranged via fax, because otherwise there's no way I'm going to make it.

But if I can fax York the financial paperwork and if they can fax me back a copy of the acceptance letter, there's a tiny chance I can get this done.

Flight prices are going up and up, which makes me awfully nervous. Zoom currently has a seat sale for travel to the UK between 15th Jan and 30th April, if you book return. Since I kind of want to come home for Easter, my birthday, and Kalamazoo, this may work quite to my advantage, still. I need to check it with my advisors, but seeing as Kalamazoo is part of that, I hope I won't have much trouble.

On the up side, it seems I am getting out of this frozen wasteland before we head into the worst winter in over a decade. It's something of a comfort. I hate the cold.

Waiting. I hate waiting.

De divellendo et plorando animae meae

The anticipatory homesickness is once again rearing its ugly head. We all have demons in the deep wells of our souls, and one of mine is the Uprooter. If only he could be vanquished with the liberal application of a flamethrower. Alas.

Last night I had dinner with Excellent David and Joni. There was beer and laughter and Latin Scrabble. There was palaeography and whiskey and enviro-doom. It was a grand old time, and something I treasure. It's going to be hard to leave such joy behind.

Last weekend, I went to the movies with Ramona. We saw Om Shanti Om, and it was a blast. It was campy and romantic and hilarious. Almost smack dab in the middle of the film there is an outrageous song-and-dance scene. A veritable legion of Bollywood stars show up one by one to sing and dance. In the film, the party is thrown for Om, an actor (wheels within wheels, dear reader), but it's fairly evident that the stars of the film and the stars making cameos are just plain having the time of their lives.

Anyway, right in the middle of this, I realise how much fun I'm having and how much I love spending time like this. And how much I am going to miss it. I'm going to miss Ramona, and her family, and all the fun and amazing things I've been exposed to over the year because of them. Of course I can go see Bollywood films in England, but it's not nearly as much fun when there's no one to share it with.

I have so little time now, and I want to spend so much of it with so many people that I feel like I get not enough time with anyone.

Anyone have a metaphysical flamethrower they want to loan me?

One more step in the preparations

I might be playing a waiting game when it comes to paperwork, but goshdurnit, I can start getting ready in other ways.

Chief among them today were the acquisition of a set of Latin Scrabble tiles (hat tip to Brent, who picked them up for me), and purchasing a webcam. Now, I already have a webcam, myself, but it is not nearly so cool when there's no one to talk to. So before I go I am going to teach my mother and father how to use it. It's a lot cheaper than phones, to be sure.

The next thing on the list is a cellphone that is usable on British frequencies.

Farewell

Yesterday morning at approximately 1030hr, Keith passed away.

Keith was one of the residents at the centre where I work. I knew him when he was in House 6, so I think I got to know him a little better in some ways than the folks in House 7 did, since his routine changed dramatically when he moved.

He was noisy and kind of gross. Some days, very gross. He wasn't very personable and didn't interact that much.

For some reason, I still liked him. I've no idea why I had the soft spot for him, but I did. I'm going to miss him.

Rest well, little guy.

Post-Lecture Debriefing!

Yesterday went well.

Pre-Lecture
I was up till about 3am on Wednesday working on the paper before I said "nuts to this!" and went to sleep. I woke up at about 10:00 Thursday morning, and a very fast shower was followed by 2.5 hours of frantic paper-finishing. I was having some trouble with the Latin of a key passage, and since my argument depended heavily on the translation of both individual words and the semantic sense of the whole sentence, I needed to get it just right. Eventually I gave up on the worst of it in the interests of time, and went to get myself ready.

When you're pretty nervous, looking professional is a big deal - you feel more professional. So I did what I could, with the makeup I so rarely wear, and the hair I bother to straighten even more rarely than I wear makeup. I put on my "grad student" clothes, far different from my current work clothes. I looked like the lecturers I used to go see.

Anyway, when I got to campus, Excellent David helped me sort out the tricky Latin. Fie on you, idioms that look like plural accusatives! Fie! Fortunately, the sense was exactly what I was hoping it was, so I could scribble it into the talk more or less seamlessly.

The Lecture
The lecture itself went better than I had hoped. I had the whole thing on paper, but I wasn't afraid to deviate. 4-5pm was the time allotted, including questions, and I spoke for roughly 50 minutes. Perfect.

I made some truly last-minute substitutions of examples in my introduction, but the end result was far better, for more relevant, and far more personal. I hope I managed to do honour to someone who is very worthy of it.

Reports afterwards were that I was shaky at the beginning, but managed to find my stride fairly early on. I certainly felt the stage-fright at the beginning and my throat was seizing up. I had to dig out the bottle of Pepsi I'd brought with me, but I was too nervous to open it. In the end, I just kind of rested my hand on it/held it, and that seemed to steady me. Weird, but it worked. I'll have to make sure I have a bottle of something on hand next time.

Or maybe I'll just have a beer right before.

Anyway. It was nice to have my little cheering section there - thanks, guys, even if you were the most disruptive members of the audience! You just can't get good roadies these days. There were at least five "strangers" in the crowd: not bad, given the disgusting weather and the obscurity of the topic. Two of them took notes, as if I was some sort of authority worth paying attention to! (I better not let that get to my head...)

Question period was good, even if there was only two questions. It was very bizarre, being asked for further reading and having to answer "There is none. You've heard everything that exists today."

I found as I was writing the sections which drew on medieval texts the most interesting (naturally). But I am very excited that I have begun drawing conclusions based on primary sources. Beginning to theorise a construct of medieval mental impairment. I am so stoked to see Dr. Turner's book when it comes out. I can't wait to see if she's been thinking along the same lines as me. But I digress.

Post-Lecture
After the lecture came the gorging. It's departmental tradition to take guest lecturers out for dinner afterwards, so off we trooped to find much food and alcohol! I was quite hungry, having been too nervous to eat prior to the talk. We found both much food and much alcohol. And much laughter. I enjoyed spending the time with the people who have spent so much time and effort getting me to the point I am at now. Good friends.

Many Many Thank-Yous!
Thank you to Excellent David, who may never see this but was the mastermind behind the whole shebang, and who helped me with last-minute Latin.
Thank you to Margaret, for her comments on the introduction, which were very helpful.
Thank you, Brent, for driving on the way up so I could practice, and on the way back so I could drink at dinner.
Thank you Ramona, for being so encouraging and for being my sounding board. Having someone who understands where I'm coming from when I approach the topic means more than anyone but you could ever know.
Thank you Joni for the laughter and the encouragement, and for all the Latin together.

Now I just have to make all the edits that came in during the actual talk to the paper version, since I've already had two requests for a copy, and I also I hate leaving things half-finished.

Theirs not to reason why

Mine but to do, and die.

Well, hopefully not die. The lecture is pretty much ready to go, with just a few small additions and changes to be made in the morning, and some devilish Latin to straighten out.

4-5pm, "Ships of fools and the Myth of the Holy Innocent: Mental Disability in the Middle Ages"

If you can't beat 'em, join 'em!

An interesting article came to my attention today. Oh, wikipedia, you fickle resource...

Wikipedia: time-saver for students, bane of professors everywhere.

Or is it?

If there’s one place where scholars should be able to question assumptions about the use of technology in the classroom (and outside of it), it’s the annual Educause conference, which wrapped up on Friday in Seattle. At a morning session featuring a professor and a specialist in learning technology from the University of Washington at Bothell, presenters showed how Wikipedia — often viewed warily by educators who worry that students too readily accept unverifiable information they find online — can be marshaled as a central component of a course’s syllabus rather than viewed as a resource to be banned or reluctantly tolerated.

That’s what Martha Groom, a professor at the university’s Interdisciplinary Arts & Sciences program, tried to do for the first time last fall by requiring term papers to be submitted to the popular, user-edited online encyclopedia. The project comes at a time when instructors and administrators continue to debate the boundaries of certain technologies within the classroom and how to adapt to students’ existing online habits.

At first glance, a college term paper and a Wikipedia entry appear to have little in common. Term papers are intended for an “extremely limited audience, namely, me,” as Groom pointed out, they have little impact outside of the classroom and are constrained to a specific “time” and “place” in the world of ink-on-paper documents. “That is not a very good model of scholarship, to say that anything you produce [belongs] in this tiny space,” she said.

On the other hand, shared, public online documents have characteristics in common with parts of the academic review process. “The shift to thinking about placing the term paper as a Wikipedia encyclopedia entry allows for another level of peer review,” Groom said. Such entries have references and citations; allow for a process of repeated, continual editing; and encourage collaborations between authors.

Article continues at Inside Higher Ed

I like this idea quite a lot. It makes use of wikipedia in a constructive way, and might be especially useful in first-year classes where students are still stuck in the Five Paragraph Essay mindset. It more closely mimics the academic process, and it gives students the feeling that their work is actually worth something beyond a grade. Speaking as one who despises busy-work, I love the idea that students get the gratification of seeing their work "go somewhere." This could also work well in, for example, a Latin composition class. Vicipaedia needs more articles!

I will have to keep this in mind for when I finally get a classroom of my own.

PIMSness

I decided to make a run into the Pontifical Institute of Mediaeval Studies library today for some last-minute digging. To my delight, I found a number of interesting references on mitigation of penances and regulations for marriage and ordination. Raymond de Peñafort's Summa de penitentia and Summa de matrimonio yielded several passages (many thanks to Ms. Melissa!). El matriomonio en la summa Breves dies hominis also turned something nice up.

There are a lot more references to furiosi, which is moderately frustrating. At least I can draw some conclusions from that, because often they qualify furens. And Grosseteste's Templum Dei does use the word imbecillans, so it's not too rare.

The problem of insanity versus impairment is causing me no end of headaches, and even I will be interested to see how it gets sorted out. Fortunately, the references I found today should help.

My first public lecture is on Thursday. I'm kind of terrified. The most interesting thing, though, was that I sat in that little cubicle for two hours and felt like a few minutes had passed. I was not distracted or even tempted to be distracted. Flipping through Latin penitentials was fun!

Copy-and-Paste

Large swathes of my lecture have now been copied and pasted from my April essay. It needs refining and re-focusing, but much of the underlying information is the same, or is applicable. I'm now at about 4,000 words, and when I add in some of the more current results of research, it will be even longer. I've got penitentials at PIMS to plough through! I'm trying to keep focus - I've started branching out with words like aetiology and trans-historical conceptualisation. I've got a page of stuff about hospitals and a page of Isidore of Seville and his accursed Etymologia, and I've got to pare that down or make it more relevant.

I'm going to be very glad when this is done.

Lecture Notes

I sat down this evening and did a test-run of what I've written so far of my lecture. It clocked in at just under 20 minutes, which means I need a minimum of 2,000 more words, and preferably closer to 3,000. Still, that is feasible.

I need to work on enunciating and on speaking slowly. I also have to practice several more times, because I keep tripping over my own words. Also, there is my ambition not to be one of those lecturers who mumble unintelligibly, nor who talk too fast to hear, nor even who read very well but only read. I want to engage, I want to entertain. And I want to impress the socks off the professors and staff who I hope will one day be looking at my CV for a tenure-track job. I've got long-term plans, my friends, and this is where they start!

And now, for those who live far, far from south-western Ontario, here's the introduction of my talk. Criticism and requests for clarity are encouraged and appreciated!

Medieval Studies is, as any medievalist knows, a highly interdisciplinary field. The disability studies field is likewise interdisciplinary. It is quite surprising, then, that the two fields have not often intersected. In the past, medievalists have ignored the history of disability, leaving it to doctors and medical historians. Disability Studies is a relatively new field, and has focused almost exclusively on the modern period. It is only in this century that dialogue between the disciplines has begun to bear fruit.

My research has led me to stumble upon this strange intersection, which is what I am here today to talk about. The methodologies of both disciplines will be discussed in turn. It is impossible to explain the topic, or even the necessity of the scholarship, without doing so. Both disability scholars and medievalists have dismissed each other’s methodology, and this strange circumstance has concealed the very lack of scholarship. Nevertheless, the field of medieval disability studies is beginning to gain momentum and notice, and is developing a methodology unique to itself. It is in this setting that the questions I pose find themselves.

The field of disability studies is a relatively recent one, developing and gaining prominence only since the 1980s. Before then, impairment was considered a topic only suitable for medical discourse. Disability was considered almost irrelevant to historical study, as it was something that had always been a fact of life. In taking such a position, these medical scholars assumed that the implications of impairment – its social and cultural aspects – were universal and absolute. In the 1980s, following the dramatic paradigm shift that feminist studies had forced upon the historical and sociological fields, scholars and activists began to consider whether the place of disabled persons had not been similarly ignored.

Out of this grew the field of Disability Studies, and the core of all further scholarship concerning impairment. Disability, scholars say, is anything but absolute. A distinction is drawn between the physiological fact of, for example, a missing leg, and the dis-abling situation of wheelchair-inaccessible buildings. The word “impairment” is taken to mean the physiological fact, and “disability” has come to mean the social and cultural circumstances which separate an impaired person from normal activity, the “generic term used to denote the social disadvantage experienced by people with an accredited impairment.” The old medical model, which drew no such distinction, inevitably applied modern assumptions to times and cultures which may not have shared them. The clarification of this critical concept allows scholars to approach the history of disability in an entirely new way. As Irina Metzler explains, the old model “is not appropriate to an investigation of disability in historic terms, in that past societies ... have had impairment but may not have had ‘disability’. If the medical model is used, then it is at the risk of contaminating the evidence with modern cultural assumptions” (9).

Concilium dismissum est.

Convocation today! I am now a Master of Arts. Master Alison.

This ceremony was shorter than the last one, and in far nicer digs. Convocation Hall is tiny, but it's a lot posher than UW's dressed-up gymnasium. I got hooded and I got my degree, and had many pictures of both. I'm quite pleased.

Next time, I get colourful robes and a funny hat, and I get to keep them!

Seeking Out Funding, Part the First

Welladay, I've been blithering on about my SSHRC application for quite a few posts now, and I'm starting to feel some sort of obligation to make this blog useful to others because God knows, I would LOVE to be able to read a blog like this right now. There's so much about going overseas and grad school in general to keep up in the air, and I'm a cruddy juggler. Having someone else offer suggestions and tips would be awesome, and while Excellent David is (natch!) an excellent source of info, his is ten years out of date.

Grad school is expensive, and international grad school is even worse. Most of us, by the time we get to grad school, are already deeply in debt and old enough to start having thoughts of settling, having a family, and doing it all without declaring bankruptcy. As a result, we need all the free funding we can get.

So. First in a series of informative posts about finding funding.

The Social Sciences and the Humanities Research Council offers scholarships for both Master's and PhD students (as well as funding for more established scholars). Winning a "SSHRC" is a moderately big deal in a status way, and an even bigger deal in a funding way.

Master's SSHRCs are valued at $17,500 for 12 months, and I've been told they receive fewer Master's applications than PhD so your odds aren't bad. PhD SSHRCs are valued at $20,000/year for up to 48 months. Also administered under the auspices of SSHRC is the Canada Graduate Scholarship, affectionately and awedly known as the "Super-SSHRC." The CGS is valued at $35,000/year for up to 36 months, and all SSHRC applications are automatically considered for the CGS as well (no separate application necessary).

The numbers alone should tell you these awards are worth applying for.

The application process is as full of red tape as you would expect. In addition to the 9 page online application form, which must be filled out absolutely correctly, you are responsible for getting two reference letters and writing a plan of study. I discussed the plan of study in an earlier post, but there's always more to say.

• SSHRC is applicable to students studying outside of Canada.
  
• Start early. Start writing your proposal early. SSHRC winners have been known to write upwards of 20 drafts, tweaking here and tinkering there. Your brain may get bogged down midway, so make sure you have time to put it on a shelf and take a break.
  
• Answer all the questions I listed in the earlier post, and don't be afraid to be blunt about them. You only have two pages - no room to be coy! SSHRC is not looking for flowery writing. Point of fact, I've been told they generally despise it. "Creative" and "artistic" are not good adjectives for a solid proposal (not to be confused with your actual idea, which may be creative and/or artistic). They want to know, in two pages, that you are a serious scholar with serious research potential, and that your ideas are viable. Presenting this creatively doesn't make you stand out: it makes you look frivolous. You have to take yourself seriously to get them to take you seriously. This goes for the title of your project, too: concise and descriptive are better than catchy.
  
• If you are at a school which offers a grant-writing seminar, GO! I can't stress this enough. I did it last year, and in four weeks I learnt an entirely new "voice." Writing a grant application is very different than other academic writing you may have done thus far, and having the experts at writing successful applications show you how to do it is beyond value. The UofT course includes one-on-one time with Writing Centre staff, all of whom won a SSHRC or CGS in the past. Because this award is so high profile and a major source of graduate funding, you may be able to find a SSHRC-specific course. GO.
  
• What SSHRC is looking for is research potential. They don't care what you've done in the past or how awesome you are, except inasmuch as it proves your potential. If you can't say exactly how a past experience makes you a good researcher, don't bother including it.
  
• Avoid impersonal pronouns. Never say "this proves I am great" or "I will do it." Say "this [specific thing] proves I am great" and "I will do [specific thing]." You have to be absolutely clear.
  
• Invest in a writing guide. I have Academic Writing for Graduate Students and it is top-notch. Provides help and information for a variety of writing situations grad students will encounter, including grant writing.

Be aware of your deadlines. If you are applying through your current school, your department will set the deadline. You have to fight your way out of your department, who have a limited quota of applications they can forward to the school. If you make it past that, you have to fight your way out of the school, who also have a quota. If you are not currently at a Canadian school, you apply independently, and the deadline is usually somewhere around 15 November. You don't have to fight your way to get to SSHRC, which is kind of nice. Plus you have extra time, but don't let that fool you - it runs out fast!

That is SSHRC in a nutshell. It generally has the earliest deadline, nearly a full year in advance. Grants can be awarded in May as well as September, but most people aim for September. It is also very good for students facing a thesis proposal, because the same sorts of thoughts (minus the begging) are needed.

Good luck!

A Pro

Today I learned that the UK postgraduate system does not involve quals. Nor comps. Nada.

They expect you to hit the ground running, and to have started writing your dissertation within the first year, but there are no major OMG I WANT TO DIE comps.

I count this as a "pro." We'll check back in July and see how that's going.

The Elephant

I got my SSHRC posted today. I have a few tips:

1. Make sure the computer you have to print from has the same word processor as the computer you write and format the proposal in.
2. Don't forget to include your supervisors' names. This saves having to re-print at the very last minute.
3. Read all the form questions very, very carefully. This is another tip to save reprinting at the last minute.
4. While Kinko's does have net and printer access, it's nicer to not need them.
5. When you start your application, give your self a deadline. Push it back two weeks, or better still, a month. This is a lot more fun than last-minute scrambling. And you will always be scrambling.
6. FedEx self-serve shipping sucks, unless you're a regular customer. Don't bother if you're not, and get a real live person to help you.

Thank God that's over. Now I can prepare for the next grant application.

Foreboding...

A SSHRC plan of study is two pages long. Two tiny pages.

Yet here I am, just staring at them. I'm so sick of them I never want to see them again. I want to throw them away, delete them, burn them, and enter the world of low-paying mindless drudge work.

On second thought, I don't. I have heard so many people say "I got started at Oaklands to pay a few bills, figured I'd be here a few months or a year, tops. That was 17 (5, 22, 30!) years ago." I don't want to ever hear myself say that. I'm motivated!

I have seen the poop-eaters, each to each. I do not think that they will sing to me.

I have to finish this app!

"To Dos" - Done!

• call OSAP re: Canada Study Grant for Females Pursuing Doctoral Studies (807-343-7260)
  
• email York about expense breakdown estimate form
  
• post expense breakdown form
  
• set up line of credit
  
• pick up SSHRC references
  
• brush up and finalise SSHRC plan of study, including bibliography

I called OSAP today about the grant, but the office was closed for Remembrance Day. Still, I called, and that in itself is motivating. I'll call back tomorrow morning.

I emailed York again about the OSAP expense form, just to remind them that it's coming, and to pleaseplease send it back quickly.

The line of credit is all set, complete with parental (guarantor) paperwork. Now I just need a letter saying I have it.

I am getting the last piece of SSHRC paperwork tomorrow from Excellent David, and I will post it express in the afternoon. He emailed me some suggestions for my plan of study, which I will integrate in tonight for my final draft. I met Scary David today to pick up my reference, and he made a point of telling me that he thought my plan of study was excellent. He said I sounded competent and my plan is specific and well-thought-out. Which for me is pretty frickin' amazing, given how intimidated I am by the man. So I'm happy, and even if I don't win (always likely), I know that at least I gave it a very good try.

Oh, and he also gave me the details for my first publication credit (submitted under his auspices), so I can include that for SSHRC. I'm also including the lecture next week. Yay!

Productivity! Question of the Day!

# of things on my list that got done? 0.

Working night shifts is kinda hell on my ability to function in the diurnal world. I did, however, write approximately 1.5k words of my lecture (okay, okay, I copied-and-pasted ~600 words, but they are highly relevant citations, I promise!) and I got my convocation tickets for next week.

So the day wasn't a total waste.

I can feel myself getting clingier and more pathetic, which is one part of my normal defence against this sort of anxiety. I start feeling the intense need to be around the people I am going to miss.

How do you react to anxiety of leaving people? More importantly, how do you deal with it?

Keeping Up With the To Do List

• call OSAP re: Canada Study Grant for Females Pursuing Doctoral Studies (807-343-7260)
  
• email York about expense breakdown estimate form
  
• post expense breakdown form
  
• set up line of credit
  
• mail offer of admittance back to York
  
• pick up SSHRC references
  
• brush up and finalise SSHRC plan of study, including bibliography
  

This list (except the references) should be all crossed off by the end of the day. Then, it's waiting. When I get the paperwork back from OSAP, I will post all the financial info to York, and wait for the final offer of admittance, whereupon* I can apply for housing and a visa.

* Any piece of writing is improved by the inclusion of the word "whereupon."

Looking from "the other side"

Lectures. Lecturing is a rough business. Until recently, I never really though about the effort that goes into lecturing. I'm sure if I had, I would have admitted quite readily that it was a crapload of effort, but now I am starting to see it from personal experience.

I've been trying to write the lecture I'm giving, and it's not easy getting the thoughts in order. There is just so much to cover, and much to explain to the audience I know is composed of non-specialists. Medieval Disability scholarship draws on the tools of both disciplines, and I have to explain both because I can't assume everyone knows both. And while I'm at it, I need to remember I can't take anything for granted. There's knowledge I take for granted in myself, habits of thinking and accumulations of data, and I have to remember what things are not common knowledge. Is this what composing a lecture is always like, I wonder? I hope I can do well by my attendees.

In related news, today I was pointed to Rate Your Students, a website of retaliation against Rate My Professors. Over the years it seems to have evolved into generalised kvetching about collegial matters. It's something of a humbling read, and I really hope I wasn't (aren't!) like that. I believe there's someone here who might especially enjoy the Naive Nina posts. I wish we could all get along, but it seems that even advanced degrees don't mature into adults.

And in also-related news, my lecture has been pushed back one week. The other university in the city is hosting a lecture at the exact same time, and I was given the option of switching and hoping for more attendees. Since I could use the extra time anyway, I took it. C'est la vie.

In entirely un-related news, my line of credit approval got underway. Shouldn't be a problem, and I am very, very pleased at the GBP-CAD exchange these days.

NaLecWriMo

Tonight I started writing the lecture I'm going to deliver on November 15. 5000-6000 words in 10 days? I suppose I can do it. I better be able to do it.

Collecting up some funding info

I'm starting a list of potential funding sources, hopefully allowing me to keep track of them all and apply to as many as I am eligible for.

So without further ado...

Overseas Student Scholarship - deadline May 1, "one-third or one-sixth of the appropriate tuition fee."

Partner Studentships - deadline Apr 30, "Tuition fee (at the home/EU rate) and a full stipend (£12,600 in 2007/8)."

Overseas Research Award - deadline Jan 31, "the award covers the difference between the home and overseas fee."

Commonwealth Scholarships - deadline Dec 31, and you get basically everything you could possibly need, and probably more.

I'm sure I am missing a few of them. But it's a start.

Other important funding information:
Tuition and finances at York
A general list of awards offered by York
Getting a job at York
Postgrad budget info
More potential funding sources
More budget stuff


And other important York information which I am glad to know about, finally:
Pre-arrival pack of info
Incoming students Arrival Pack

Cast of Characters

I should probably introduce some of the dramatis personae of this saga, since it is awfully hard to talk about life without mentioning the people in it.

Excellent David: A professor from the University of Waterloo, who I met during my 3A term. He terrified me with his Roman Philosophers class, but it was not really his fault. Later he created a Special Readings distant ed. class, which allowed me to graduate with my Latin minor. We met weekly, one-on-one, and it was an excellent time. He is an excellent professor, and a good friend. He's my main source of reference letters and when you get right down to it, he's my mentor. I owe him a great deal, as I am where I am due in very large part to him.

Scary David: Another professor named David, this one from my Master's. I had the misfortune of royally tanking a major presentation for his class in first term, and I am not convinced I ever redeemed myself from that. Nevertheless, I did much better in another of his classes in second term, and he has written me reference letters as well. I am still terrified of him.

Dr. Goldberg: One of my doctoral advisors. By his emails, a nice man. Hopefully not as scary as Scary David.

Dr. McDonald: My other doctoral advisor. By her emails, a nice woman. She and Dr Goldberg have enough confidence in me to let me attempt my ideas, which is more than the rest of the department has given me. I'm excited to meet them both.


More will come, I am sure. But that should get everyone on the same page.

Banking the fires of the furnace a bit

Tonight I put the school stress aside a little. I did make an appointment for Monday with the Credit Union, and I discussed my SSHRC proposal with the Excellent David yesterday, so I have not been wasting my time.

But tonight I watched a couple of the better episodes of due South,* and I knitted. Getting my fingers back in it, as I expect that after my lecture I will need something to entertain myself at work. I think it's good to not get overly wound up in this process. Little breaks like this will help keep the anxiety down, especially when they involve such comforting and homey activities.

I have been thinking about what I am going to be packing to take with me. I'm allowing myself perhaps three special books (in addition to the academic books I need), and a DVD binder. I really want to have my due South, Slings and Arrows, and some other shows and movies. Things that will help the homesickness. I think it's weight well spent.

* "North," "Call of the Wild," and "The Ladies Man" if anyone is interested. That show really had some of the best tv writing ever. I saw "The Ladies Man" for the first time tonight, and I was floored. It's going to haunt me.

To-Do List

• email reference #1
  
• email reference #2
  
• order BA transcript
  
• order MA transcript
  
• print SSHRC forms
  
• complete OSAP application
  
• print OSAP forms
  
• call OSAP re: Canada Study Grant for Females Pursuing Doctoral Studies
  
• email York with expense breakdown estimate form
  
• set up line of credit
  
• mail offer of admittance back to York
  
• PANIC
  

Oh, and blog about the whole messy deal.

Summing up my entire life in two pages

Last year, when I composed my first SSHRC application, I felt entirely at sea. Sum up my entire past and academic future in just two pages? Then when I started writing, I thought I would never fill those two pages. How much can one say about research one has not yet done? I ended up using every single line of those two pages.

This year, I had the same experience. I am not quite done my draft yet, but it is coming along nicely, and I am almost at the two-page limit. And this, after weeks of being stalled at just over one page and despairing of ever filling more in.

It's hard to explain two very different fields to an army of non-specialists in either.

What needs to be included in a SSHRC draft:
Who I am.
What my topic is.
Why it is important and unique.
What has been done in the past that I can build on. (Also, am I serious enough about this to get my nose in it already.)
How I am going to go about studying it.
Why I am the best - nay, only - person to study this topic.
What I will do during the tenure of the award. (Is their money going to be well-used.)

And I have to sell myself. A hard sell, the I am great and spectacular, and my work is vitally important to all people kind of sell.

I tell you, if you ever find yourself in the position of writing your first grant application, see if your school offers a course through the writing centre or something. It is time very well spent. This is a very different sort of writing, and there are a lot of tips and tricks, a lot of Dos and Don'ts, that you need to know.

I hope I remember enough of last year's course to make this application a contender. It would ease the financial pressure so much.