"It's because they're English"

Fun times today. You can file this post under important things to know about British universities or screaming rage at red tape, take your pick.

The University of York just now got around to posting something to SSHRC. Something not a transcript. A week past the deadline.

Apparently, a single database where all grades are entered and stored for easy retrieval (at the registrar's leisure, natch) is way, way too easy for British unis. Too sensible. Too efficient. Real British unis don't go in for that namby-pamby efficiency nonsense!

It's far better to have inconsistent grading standards in different departments, all stored in the departments. So if a student asks for a transcript, instead of just printing a copy from the student database, the registrar has to submit requests to all the separate departments, who have to look the student up, send the info back to the registrar, who then organises it and tries to harmonise all the grading standards, and THEN prints it out. And if you're a research student, they get really confused, because you have no classes to grade, and thus no transcript.

And apparently they just sit on your request for a while scratching their heads, and finally mail of something that's not a transcript but confirms that you do, in fact, exist and attend their institution. Or something of that sort. But they won't just dash that off, no. First they have to spend three to four weeks considering it. Because apparently research students never ask for transcripts or something?

Colour me unimpressed, and very, very upset.

The CMS secretary, however, is a wonderful woman. She is going to write to SSHRC and explain that my request was submitted with plenty of time (it was, according to everything they say on the registrar's website and in the office in person), but plain old British inefficiency stupidity thoroughness delayed it beyond reasonable expectation. It's a good thing we have such a wonderful secretary here because I would otherwise be writing this post after consuming several alcoholic beverages, or from a cabin in the woods were I was hiding from the police after my mad stabbing rampage. Possibly both.

Update on Red Tape

My visa has made it to the British High Commission and I've received and email to that effect.

Processing of your application starts now and normally takes 5 working days for straightforward non-settlement applications. [...] If your application has been approved, you will receive further notification when the visa has been issued. You should allow a minimum of 3 working days for your documents to be sent to you by Priority Courier and also before tracking your package. Doing the math, that means it should be posted back to me next Wednesday and will not likely be in my hands before the following Monday (the 21st). That tanks the hope to fly on the 20th.

OSAP, meanwhile, received my supporting documentation on Christmas Eve, and has sat on it since then. I called today, and the reply was "Oh yes, we got those in December. I'll update your file now." Thanks, OSAP. Top-notch service there. The papers will print this weekend. (Why not sooner? It's just hitting "print" on the computer.) They will be mailed next Thursday. (What, the post doesn't get sent out every day?) Presumably I'll get them the following week.

Your bloody slow incompetence has added another week to my waiting, OSAP. I'm sure you don't care two figs for the fact that I'm paying through the freaking nose for housing I can't use, and I won't even be on campus when the term's payment is due. I can't book my flights, and the cost is going up every day. You're a bunch of bloody-minded devils, you are!

Sorry, folks, bad day over here.

The Same the World Over

I should have been more careful. I've been applying for student loans for seven (eight?) years now. I've submitted two SSHRC applications and one Ontario Graduate Scholarship. I am not unfamiliar with the arcane and draconian regulations that one must adhere to. Actually, by now I should be actively seeking out the ways in which they trip you up. 1.42" margins? BAM! Helvetica font? BAM! 35x45mm passport photo? Err...

You see, Canadian passport photos are a different size from British ones. If you see the requirement "one passport-sized photograph," naturally you would go and get a passport-sized photograph taken. You can probably be forgiven for not realising this is not the normal Canadian size. I know I never took a ruler to my old passport pics.

But alas, our photos are bigger. Too big for a British visa application.

It's a fortunate thing that your generic and sketchy mall "4 photos in 3 minutes!" photo booth takes, you guessed it, 35x45mm pictures. So all my efforts to have a decent photograph for once are in vain.

I guess I still have the pictures.

Oh, and my application has now been submitted.

Visa, visa, bo-bisa...

I submitted my visa application today, and I get fingerprinted tomorrow. Aie.

I've now dedicated ~$600 to this, and I feel committed. No backing out now. Anxiety level: high.

Alrighty, off to make photocopies and get passport-like photos taken.

Setting up the next domino chain

Time to start thinking visa. Here's my to-do list.

• Go to the CAA and get a passport photo taken. Remember to not look like doofus, as in past two occasions.
  
• Fill out VAF1 form.
  
• Write cheque for fee.
  
• Make copies of degrees. Make copies of funding proof.
  
• Write "a letter stating [my] intentions on completion of [my] course".
  

I will do the paperwork tomorrow night at work, and get my photocopies and photo done shortly thereafter. Hurry, hurry, OSAP and York paperwork!

The systems stink, but sometimes the admins are golden

Last night at work I realised that if my OSAP paperwork didn't arrive today, I would not be able to submit it to York before the office closed for Christmas, effectively losing two weeks of Red Tape Time. And even if by some miracle it did come, the time difference would mean the office would be closed. Drat.

So I called York, fully prepared to beg. I was eventually connected with a wonderful woman in the Graduate Studies Office who consulted with someone else (a superior of some sort, I guess). She said that if I faxed the funding documentation I have now (two bank statements, a credit card statement, and the line of credit document), they'll assume the student loans paperwork will arrive before I fly over. And she'd mail out the final offer of admittance right away, so it would get in the post today.

So even though I can't send it back to them until January, I can get going on my visa as soon as it gets here. I was beginning to despair of getting out of here before February. Moral of the story: sometimes people are really nice and understanding, if you just call and ask. Thank you, wonderful Ms. Libby, thank you. I hope your Christmas break is wonderful, relaxing, and joyful.

In semi-related news, my manager at work informed me last night that he will extend my contract if I am still around past 05 Jan, which is when it would otherwise expire. I'm glad, because I'll have something to do, and can pick up shifts at the PT rate.

I've decided to keep working until I submit my visa application. The visa turnaround is supposed to be quite quick, and I'll be flying out as soon as I can after I get it. I'll use that time to freak out and be clingy. And pack.

On the road again?

My transcript from UofT arrived today.

I will post it "next day" shipping this afternoon, along with all the other paperwork OSAP wants.

Hopefully we can get this show on the road again.

I suppose the silver gilt on the cloud is that all these delays have resulted in the deposit of another couple of paycheques into my account, making that number also kind of nice to show York.

Can't wait to be on the road again....

OSAP: Basil Fawlty Edition

Advice for those with one-year M.A. programs, cleverly disguised as angry ranting.

At least, if you live in Ontario (though I imagine other provinces are similar).

If you take a one year M.A. program, OSAP gets suspicious when you apply for another "first year" the next year. They understandably don't like it when students switch programs too often, since it shows a lack of focus and they probably aren't getting their money's worth.

But honestly, folks. Did you even glance at my application? At the part that makes me fill out my entire academic history and what programs I was in when? Go on, take a look. Yes, see the M.A. clearly listed as "Year 1 of a 1 Year Program." Mhm. That means that I am now done that degree! It's over!

And under the space for the current program? Where it says Ph.D.? Folks, this is not some directionless drunken general arts major farting around. It should be quite clear why I am applying for the first year of a program again.

And UofT! Yes, you! What's up with the transcript nonsense? Any time a student needs an official transcript, they need it in a sealed envelope, or else it's invalid. That means if I order two transcripts, and you send them both in the same envelope, one of them is completely rahling useless! This should not be news to you. This is true for every instance in which an official transcript is needed.

So, folks, here's the advice part of this post. If you have applied to the first year of a program two years in a row, OSAP is going to demand transcripts, a photocopy of your SIN card, and a letter from you explaining things. They will not tell you about this until very late in the process. So get them ready beforehand.

Or you will end up like me, feeling much like this:

Oratio contra consilium ad considerandum trivii quadriviique

Quo usque tandem abutere, C.a.C.T.Qq, patientia nostra? Quam diu etiam furor iste tuus nos eludet? Quem ad finem sese effrenata iactabit audacia?*

There's a bug in the SSHRC website that allows one to enter a 2008 studies start date, but not the second field where you enter the information (it requires a 2007 date).

Ad mortem te, C.a.C.T.Qq, duci iussu consulis iam pridem oportebat, in te conferri pestem, quam tu in nos omnes iam diu machinaris.**

SSHRC has noticed this inconsistency and emailed my advisor at York, who emailed me. I explained the situation to her, so hopefully she will be able to clear it up with them.

Tum denique interficiere, cum iam nemo tam inprobus, tam perditus, tam tui similis inveniri poterit, qui id non iure factum esse fateatur.***

I'm going to be very upset if I lose out on a SSHRC just because their stupid website has inconsistent field value requirements.

------

* When, O SSHRC, do you mean to cease abusing our patience? How long is that madness of yours still to mock us? When is there to be an end of that unbridled audacity of yours, swaggering about as it does now? (Cicero, Oratio in Catilinam, I.1)
** You ought, O SSHRC, long ago to have been led to execution by command of the consul. That destruction which you have been long plotting against us ought to have already fallen on your own head. (I.2)
*** I will put you to death, then, when there shall be not one person possible to be found so wicked, so abandoned, so like yourself, as not to allow that it has been rightly done. (I.5)

A New Month, the Same Old Red Tape

It's December 1st.

I still have not heard back from OSAP. This is incredibly depressing, and I have the sinking feeling that this is going to stretch out into mid-January, wreaking havoc with both my classes and my living arrangements. Hopefully some of this can be arranged via fax, because otherwise there's no way I'm going to make it.

But if I can fax York the financial paperwork and if they can fax me back a copy of the acceptance letter, there's a tiny chance I can get this done.

Flight prices are going up and up, which makes me awfully nervous. Zoom currently has a seat sale for travel to the UK between 15th Jan and 30th April, if you book return. Since I kind of want to come home for Easter, my birthday, and Kalamazoo, this may work quite to my advantage, still. I need to check it with my advisors, but seeing as Kalamazoo is part of that, I hope I won't have much trouble.

On the up side, it seems I am getting out of this frozen wasteland before we head into the worst winter in over a decade. It's something of a comfort. I hate the cold.

Waiting. I hate waiting.

"To Dos" - Done!

• call OSAP re: Canada Study Grant for Females Pursuing Doctoral Studies (807-343-7260)
  
• email York about expense breakdown estimate form
  
• post expense breakdown form
  
• set up line of credit
  
• pick up SSHRC references
  
• brush up and finalise SSHRC plan of study, including bibliography

I called OSAP today about the grant, but the office was closed for Remembrance Day. Still, I called, and that in itself is motivating. I'll call back tomorrow morning.

I emailed York again about the OSAP expense form, just to remind them that it's coming, and to pleaseplease send it back quickly.

The line of credit is all set, complete with parental (guarantor) paperwork. Now I just need a letter saying I have it.

I am getting the last piece of SSHRC paperwork tomorrow from Excellent David, and I will post it express in the afternoon. He emailed me some suggestions for my plan of study, which I will integrate in tonight for my final draft. I met Scary David today to pick up my reference, and he made a point of telling me that he thought my plan of study was excellent. He said I sounded competent and my plan is specific and well-thought-out. Which for me is pretty frickin' amazing, given how intimidated I am by the man. So I'm happy, and even if I don't win (always likely), I know that at least I gave it a very good try.

Oh, and he also gave me the details for my first publication credit (submitted under his auspices), so I can include that for SSHRC. I'm also including the lecture next week. Yay!

Keeping Up With the To Do List

• call OSAP re: Canada Study Grant for Females Pursuing Doctoral Studies (807-343-7260)
  
• email York about expense breakdown estimate form
  
• post expense breakdown form
  
• set up line of credit
  
• mail offer of admittance back to York
  
• pick up SSHRC references
  
• brush up and finalise SSHRC plan of study, including bibliography
  

This list (except the references) should be all crossed off by the end of the day. Then, it's waiting. When I get the paperwork back from OSAP, I will post all the financial info to York, and wait for the final offer of admittance, whereupon* I can apply for housing and a visa.

* Any piece of writing is improved by the inclusion of the word "whereupon."

The first post with information useful to others!

Today I began exploring visa options. Thankfully, it looks like it's not too complicated. Complicated, yes, but not obscene.

Studying in the UK - A helpful page. And I mean that with all the understatement my frail human body can contain.

Only the Ottawa consulate deals with visas. To get a visa, I need to have:

• printed and signed e-application VAF1.
  
• the appropriate fee, which is non-refundable (see Fees leaflet)
  
• your original valid passport
  
• one recent passport size photograph taken in Canada (less than 6 months old). The photo must: show the full face centred in the middle of the photo; be clear and of good quality; be taken against a light background; be printed on normal photographic paper; be 45mm x 35mm in size; and be black and white or colour. Note: Professional digital photographs are acceptable.
  
• a letter of unconditional acceptance from the school/college in the UK confirming the duration of your course and course fees
  
• evidence of sufficient funds to show you can meet the cost of the course and accommodation and maintain yourself (e.g. recent bank statements, line of credit/bank loan, scholarship/bursary documents)
  
• a letter stating your intentions on completion of your course
  
• copies of any relevant diplomas or educational certificates which you hold. Please note that if originals are required, we will contact you.

So this means I need to get to the credit union tout de suite and arrange a line of credit. And apply for OSAP (again). Then, with money arranged, contact York to prove I can pay, and get the unconditional offer. With that in hand, and copies of my finances, and my passport, and all the other paperwork, I will apply for a visa.

Visas take 5 days to process, normally, and then they mail everything back to you. I am very, very glad not to have to go to Ottawa to get it. And also very glad about the benefits of this visa:

• A UK student visa provides validity for the full period of study plus unlimited entries.
  
• A UK student visa provides a work entitlement: 20 hours per week and full time during the holidays.
  
• A UK student visa provides the opportunity to switch into work permit or highly skilled migrant categories after graduation
  
• In addition to all these benefits, the new International Graduates Scheme enables all graduates/postgraduates to remain in the UK for 12 months (2 years in Scotland).
  

So it's going to be a lot of running around. A lot of red tape. But it's clear and direct and doable.

I can has cheeseburger?

Writing grant applications is difficult to do when you have a migraine. All of your attempts at coherency end up looking like something out of a lolcats macro. lolsshrcs? Whatever.

In happier news, my formal offer of study arrived in the post, finally. It is contingent upon me proving I have the funds to accept. Crapsticks. Good thing: GBP-CDN exchange rate. Bad thing: I still don't have $35k. OSAP will give me $10k, and I will have about $5-6k of my own (mom being sick this summer really was brutal). I can probably set up a line of credit at the Credit Union.

Funding: Ramen Noodle edition! Why do I want to go to England, again?

Right, I forgot about OSAP. OSAP won't release a funding estimate until they have a letter from York with an expense breakdown. So I have to call York, ask for that, send it to OSAP, wait for OSAP to reply, then I can reply to York that Yes, I have money. And THEN I can apply for housing. Somehow I'm beginning to doubt all this is possible before January. Lessons to Learn: start everything really, really, early.

I will be seeking out the cheapest possible accommodations, while I'm there. Prices range from £3,500-5,300. Guess which one I'll be going for?

It's very strange, looking over these UK residences. We can add "washbasin" to the list of words I'll have to switch over to. I usually think of a laundry sink when I hear "washbasin." That, or a porcelain bowl with a water jug sitting in it, a la Victorian period.

Anyway, the point is that things we take for granted over here, like phone jacks and internet... not so much, over there. My two first-choice residences have limited internet service and no phones in the rooms. My second choice has both. Fortunately, the first-pick residences are also the cheapest of the available housing. Unfortunately, they house a combined 53 students, and all of those spots are very likely already taken, since I'll be arriving in January. Regardless, all of the residences are within biking distance of my academic building, which is nice, and the York website says that the main campus is wireless. Whatever I get, I will deal with, but it has to be cheap, is all.

Ramen noodles.