First really bad bought of homesick today.
My boyfriend and my best friend went to the symphony orchestra last night, and today they were both on camera together, having breakfast. When there's just one person on the other end, it's not too bad, it's like a phone call.
But when it's two people, and they're interacting, I can feel how much I'm missing, how much I wished all three of us could be having breakfast together.
I love it here. I'm settling in and I'm having lots of fun. There are so many adventures to be had!
I just wish the people I love could be here too so we could share them.
This is the first time I've really felt homesick, and I need to go out and do something or I'll just sit here and cry.
Showing posts with label homesick. Show all posts
Showing posts with label homesick. Show all posts
03 February, 2008
15 January, 2008
I'm at the startin' line of the rest of my life...
The song I mentioned the other day was in my head all day today. Particularly the chorus, which runs:
I'm at the startin' line of the rest of my life
As ready as I'll ever be
I've got the hunger and the stars in my eyes
The prize is mine to see
It occurred to me this evening that this is probably the last time I'll live in the house I grew up in. It's been almost 22 years, and it's always been here, been home, even when I lived away at school. But now I'm moving far away, for a long time, and my parents might not even live here by the time I get back. I'm just a visitor now. This is... painful. It's a hard thought. The rest of my life, indeed.
Aside from that, today was quite lovely. I got my bike boxed up and shoved a few more items into my carry-on and my suitcase. I figure I'm going for broke on the baggage weight limit anyway, so I might as well make sure I have what I need. Moving is not cheap.
Went out for a round or two at the local pool hall/bowling alley with my dad. We played a game of snooker (I really, really sucked) and a game of pool (I didn't suck so badly). Apparently I have a pretty good hold on the cue, just need practice. And aim. Dad taught me how to sink a ball when it's lying flush on the rail. We spent time together and both of us really enjoyed it. I smiled the rest of the evening.
The rest of the week is really busy. Tomorrow I do tons of little errands and make some phone calls. Check in at Oaklands, pick up a paycheque, and see if some of my friends on staff are there. Call my sister. Wednesday sees more errands, and tea and talk with Laura. Thursday I'm going to get a hair trim, orthodics, eyeglasses prescription, and new eyeglasses. Friday going to the city where I did my undergrad to spend time with a friend (possibly two). Saturday will be full of last-minute packing, cleaning, vacuuming, and the Rabbie Burns ceilidh (complete with haggis)! Sunday: church, lunch, flying.
After that, I'll be incommunicado unless I hit a wireless hotspot or am remarkably lucky setting up the residence internet service.
Ready as I've ever been!
I'm at the startin' line of the rest of my life
As ready as I'll ever be
I've got the hunger and the stars in my eyes
The prize is mine to see
It occurred to me this evening that this is probably the last time I'll live in the house I grew up in. It's been almost 22 years, and it's always been here, been home, even when I lived away at school. But now I'm moving far away, for a long time, and my parents might not even live here by the time I get back. I'm just a visitor now. This is... painful. It's a hard thought. The rest of my life, indeed.
Aside from that, today was quite lovely. I got my bike boxed up and shoved a few more items into my carry-on and my suitcase. I figure I'm going for broke on the baggage weight limit anyway, so I might as well make sure I have what I need. Moving is not cheap.
Went out for a round or two at the local pool hall/bowling alley with my dad. We played a game of snooker (I really, really sucked) and a game of pool (I didn't suck so badly). Apparently I have a pretty good hold on the cue, just need practice. And aim. Dad taught me how to sink a ball when it's lying flush on the rail. We spent time together and both of us really enjoyed it. I smiled the rest of the evening.
The rest of the week is really busy. Tomorrow I do tons of little errands and make some phone calls. Check in at Oaklands, pick up a paycheque, and see if some of my friends on staff are there. Call my sister. Wednesday sees more errands, and tea and talk with Laura. Thursday I'm going to get a hair trim, orthodics, eyeglasses prescription, and new eyeglasses. Friday going to the city where I did my undergrad to spend time with a friend (possibly two). Saturday will be full of last-minute packing, cleaning, vacuuming, and the Rabbie Burns ceilidh (complete with haggis)! Sunday: church, lunch, flying.
After that, I'll be incommunicado unless I hit a wireless hotspot or am remarkably lucky setting up the residence internet service.
Ready as I've ever been!
12 January, 2008
A little bit of peace
I had some country-music-inspired sobbing episodes on Thursday. More sobbing tonight. Uprooting is hard.
I'm really glad for my dad. He was wonderful and hugged me while I cried and then helped me pick a fighting style to get involved with at York. I'm going to learn ju jitsu! And we talked for a while, and I managed to find him on MSN at last. Knowing that the lines of communication and contact are that much stronger did a lot to stabilise me.
We just talked for a while, and made a date for just the two of us. I'm going to miss him.
He also encouraged me that this is not the end of the world, and if it doesn't work out, that's not the end of the world either. I promised him I'd set some concrete goals for my first month at York, to give me focus and to strive for. I arrive in York on Jan 21st, and Feb 21st is a memorable date for personal reasons, so One Month it is.
Ten One-Month Goals: (in no particular order)
1. Establish my kitchen. Find the staples, spices, and equipment that I will need in order to successfully feed myself.
2. Join the ju jitsu club.
3. Find a church.
4. Bike around campus and learn where the important buildings (admin, library, international students office, shops) are.
5. Have tea with at least two classmates or housemates.
6. Meet with my advisors and figure out my schedule (including Latin class).
7. Acquire a cheap Region 2 DVD player and Season 1 of F/X: the Series. Watch it.
8. Chase some ducks.
9. Make my room feel like home.
10. Spend at least one morning walking around the downtown.
I'm really glad for my dad. He was wonderful and hugged me while I cried and then helped me pick a fighting style to get involved with at York. I'm going to learn ju jitsu! And we talked for a while, and I managed to find him on MSN at last. Knowing that the lines of communication and contact are that much stronger did a lot to stabilise me.
We just talked for a while, and made a date for just the two of us. I'm going to miss him.
He also encouraged me that this is not the end of the world, and if it doesn't work out, that's not the end of the world either. I promised him I'd set some concrete goals for my first month at York, to give me focus and to strive for. I arrive in York on Jan 21st, and Feb 21st is a memorable date for personal reasons, so One Month it is.
Ten One-Month Goals: (in no particular order)
1. Establish my kitchen. Find the staples, spices, and equipment that I will need in order to successfully feed myself.
2. Join the ju jitsu club.
3. Find a church.
4. Bike around campus and learn where the important buildings (admin, library, international students office, shops) are.
5. Have tea with at least two classmates or housemates.
6. Meet with my advisors and figure out my schedule (including Latin class).
7. Acquire a cheap Region 2 DVD player and Season 1 of F/X: the Series. Watch it.
8. Chase some ducks.
9. Make my room feel like home.
10. Spend at least one morning walking around the downtown.
01 December, 2007
De divellendo et plorando animae meae
The anticipatory homesickness is once again rearing its ugly head. We all have demons in the deep wells of our souls, and one of mine is the Uprooter. If only he could be vanquished with the liberal application of a flamethrower. Alas.
Last night I had dinner with Excellent David and Joni. There was beer and laughter and Latin Scrabble. There was palaeography and whiskey and enviro-doom. It was a grand old time, and something I treasure. It's going to be hard to leave such joy behind.
Last weekend, I went to the movies with Ramona. We saw Om Shanti Om, and it was a blast. It was campy and romantic and hilarious. Almost smack dab in the middle of the film there is an outrageous song-and-dance scene. A veritable legion of Bollywood stars show up one by one to sing and dance. In the film, the party is thrown for Om, an actor (wheels within wheels, dear reader), but it's fairly evident that the stars of the film and the stars making cameos are just plain having the time of their lives.
Anyway, right in the middle of this, I realise how much fun I'm having and how much I love spending time like this. And how much I am going to miss it. I'm going to miss Ramona, and her family, and all the fun and amazing things I've been exposed to over the year because of them. Of course I can go see Bollywood films in England, but it's not nearly as much fun when there's no one to share it with.
I have so little time now, and I want to spend so much of it with so many people that I feel like I get not enough time with anyone.
Anyone have a metaphysical flamethrower they want to loan me?
Last night I had dinner with Excellent David and Joni. There was beer and laughter and Latin Scrabble. There was palaeography and whiskey and enviro-doom. It was a grand old time, and something I treasure. It's going to be hard to leave such joy behind.
Last weekend, I went to the movies with Ramona. We saw Om Shanti Om, and it was a blast. It was campy and romantic and hilarious. Almost smack dab in the middle of the film there is an outrageous song-and-dance scene. A veritable legion of Bollywood stars show up one by one to sing and dance. In the film, the party is thrown for Om, an actor (wheels within wheels, dear reader), but it's fairly evident that the stars of the film and the stars making cameos are just plain having the time of their lives.
Anyway, right in the middle of this, I realise how much fun I'm having and how much I love spending time like this. And how much I am going to miss it. I'm going to miss Ramona, and her family, and all the fun and amazing things I've been exposed to over the year because of them. Of course I can go see Bollywood films in England, but it's not nearly as much fun when there's no one to share it with.
I have so little time now, and I want to spend so much of it with so many people that I feel like I get not enough time with anyone.
Anyone have a metaphysical flamethrower they want to loan me?
27 November, 2007
One more step in the preparations
I might be playing a waiting game when it comes to paperwork, but goshdurnit, I can start getting ready in other ways.
Chief among them today were the acquisition of a set of Latin Scrabble tiles (hat tip to Brent, who picked them up for me), and purchasing a webcam. Now, I already have a webcam, myself, but it is not nearly so cool when there's no one to talk to. So before I go I am going to teach my mother and father how to use it. It's a lot cheaper than phones, to be sure.
The next thing on the list is a cellphone that is usable on British frequencies.
Chief among them today were the acquisition of a set of Latin Scrabble tiles (hat tip to Brent, who picked them up for me), and purchasing a webcam. Now, I already have a webcam, myself, but it is not nearly so cool when there's no one to talk to. So before I go I am going to teach my mother and father how to use it. It's a lot cheaper than phones, to be sure.
The next thing on the list is a cellphone that is usable on British frequencies.
31 October, 2007
O, Canada
The anxiety is kicking in big-time. Having the papers and getting the ball rolling makes it all so much more real.
Can I do this? Is my topic viable? What about money? Leaving friends behind? Family?
This blog/diary is helping, and it's very good to know that it's okay to be scared and freaking out. But I still am scared.
Can I do this? Is my topic viable? What about money? Leaving friends behind? Family?
This blog/diary is helping, and it's very good to know that it's okay to be scared and freaking out. But I still am scared.
21 October, 2007
The furnace of doubt
I'm restarting this long-dormant blogger account as a place to recount the terrors and joys of being a grad student.
I am a recently-admitted doctoral candidate at the University of York in England. I'm also a Canadian born and bred, so this blog is not just about grad school, it is about the long-term process of living abroad.
I leave in January, and I'm already getting homesick. I expect it to get worse, but also to get better as I adjust and as it becomes more real. The anticipatory homesickness is making things rough right now. I imagine I will get very distracted when the paperwork starts pouring in and the wheels start turning.
So here things are. You can look forward to humorous stories of linguistic variation, travel tips, government screw-ups, research zaniness, and much, much more!
I am a recently-admitted doctoral candidate at the University of York in England. I'm also a Canadian born and bred, so this blog is not just about grad school, it is about the long-term process of living abroad.
I leave in January, and I'm already getting homesick. I expect it to get worse, but also to get better as I adjust and as it becomes more real. The anticipatory homesickness is making things rough right now. I imagine I will get very distracted when the paperwork starts pouring in and the wheels start turning.
So here things are. You can look forward to humorous stories of linguistic variation, travel tips, government screw-ups, research zaniness, and much, much more!
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