"It's because they're English"

Fun times today. You can file this post under important things to know about British universities or screaming rage at red tape, take your pick.

The University of York just now got around to posting something to SSHRC. Something not a transcript. A week past the deadline.

Apparently, a single database where all grades are entered and stored for easy retrieval (at the registrar's leisure, natch) is way, way too easy for British unis. Too sensible. Too efficient. Real British unis don't go in for that namby-pamby efficiency nonsense!

It's far better to have inconsistent grading standards in different departments, all stored in the departments. So if a student asks for a transcript, instead of just printing a copy from the student database, the registrar has to submit requests to all the separate departments, who have to look the student up, send the info back to the registrar, who then organises it and tries to harmonise all the grading standards, and THEN prints it out. And if you're a research student, they get really confused, because you have no classes to grade, and thus no transcript.

And apparently they just sit on your request for a while scratching their heads, and finally mail of something that's not a transcript but confirms that you do, in fact, exist and attend their institution. Or something of that sort. But they won't just dash that off, no. First they have to spend three to four weeks considering it. Because apparently research students never ask for transcripts or something?

Colour me unimpressed, and very, very upset.

The CMS secretary, however, is a wonderful woman. She is going to write to SSHRC and explain that my request was submitted with plenty of time (it was, according to everything they say on the registrar's website and in the office in person), but plain old British inefficiency stupidity thoroughness delayed it beyond reasonable expectation. It's a good thing we have such a wonderful secretary here because I would otherwise be writing this post after consuming several alcoholic beverages, or from a cabin in the woods were I was hiding from the police after my mad stabbing rampage. Possibly both.

Work, Money, Stuff

The bosses have heard my cry and are thinking they can max out my allowed work hours for me. It's not going to fund me what I need, but the extra £55/week will go a long way toward making life generally livable.

Doing the math, if I can stick to my budget for personal things, even if I increase it 5 pounds from the extra shift (not always easy, but mostly possible), I can put aside a fair amount of money each week. Some of it can be tagged for school expenses, like paper, research fees, photocopying, etc.

You know, it could be worse. I'm not on a ramen diet, although I do take advantage of any free food to be had. It's kind of eerie how I feel like I'm living a PhD Comic. A small amount of money can buy a lot of fresh fruit and vegetables, and as long as I keep the staples on hand (flour, noodles, rice, potatoes, oils) I can make a lot of great stuff. (The free stuff I get from work occasionally is awesome, too.) I do kind of miss orange juice, though, so I'm-a get some concentrate this week.

Aaaand, this post has turned into a ramble. Enough of that. I am going to go write some letters and relax for a bit, because my brain is fried after a full Saturday shift.

Cheers!

Fun Mit Acronyms!

Well, I am now set to participate in the SSDMA* roundtable session and in the session "God's Cripples, Crazies, and Imbeciles" at the ICMS** It's good to have that very tiny chunk of org done.

Meanwhile, head for the hills, it's SSHRC*** time again! My supervisors will be writing me references, and it's nice that I will be able to draft my proposal based on some solid research and specific primary sources.

Whew.


* The Society for the Study of Disability in the Middle Ages, for those who are just tuning in.
** International Congress on Medieval Studies, more commonly referred to as "K'zoo."
*** The Social Sciences and the Humanities Research Council, a major funding body for Canadian academics.

Being in Britain

I am now gainfully employed! I have a job at the local spice shop/Indian grocery, working part time. I won't start till I get back from my trip home, but they said they definitely want me and they're cool with waiting. That also gives me time to pick a schedule and apply for an NIS number so I can actually get paid.

I'm so excited!! It's kind of fun to be excited about going to work again. This isn't just a source of funds - I'm genuinely happy to be working at this place.

In other news, today is the Queen's birthday. There was a 21-gun salute in the park. Now, I expected something like, say, shoulder rifles. Not cannons. Cannons are loud, by the way. Very loud.

In other news, I got an email today saying I've been offered a space in my res for next year. I don't have to move! Woo!

On the whole, it's been a good day. :D This calls for country music, possibly with dancing around in my room.

E-O-T

I had my lass class of the term today. What's up with that?

I did a decent job of Latin class today, I think. It was my day to teach and because I never feel like I get enough nice easy Aquinas, I inflicted him on everyone else. Well, I like doing it! We managed to whizz through it pretty quickly, and thanks to both That Horrible Philosophy Class and Excellent David, I think I sounded like I knew something.

I am going to take another stab at the UofT Latin exam again this April. Every chance I get till I pass it, honestly, since York is footing the bill. But with no formal Latin classes between now and the exam, those of us facing it have decided to meet informally to go over old exams and play scrabble. I'm seriously rusty. And hopefully I will get a chance to know my classmates better.

In other news, the absinthe party was a success, and I found a corner where I could chat with people and avoid the dancing. Absinthe is not really that tasty, unless you like licorice a lot.

And in funding news, I have not yet gotten a job, but I called a place yesterday and they said they'd get back to me this evening. Maybe I mistook what "evening" means, but I haven't heard from them yet. I will call again tomorrow. It would be nice to have a certain amount of income that I don't have to pay interest on.

From the Wellcome

Well, I am not eligible for the Wellcome Trust funding I mentioned a few posts ago. I got a very nice letter from them, apologising that I do not meet the requirements and suggesting that I can instead apply for a Research Expenses grant. I won't apply for that right now, since I'm still in the very early stages. However, I think I will when I get a clearer plan of study and I know that I'm going to be travelling to different libraries around the country. (Hello, Bodlian!)

In more hard-working news, I've started looking for work again around York. Thanks to my years in Personal Support, I am qualified for a range of jobs outside the normal bar/retail sector. I'm not exactly keen on going right back into the field, but if the hours are reasonable (and they seem to be) and the pay is better (and it seems to be), it may be worth my while. I am not excluding the possibility of bar/retail jobs, but it's worth looking elsewhere, too. Updates to follow.

The Wellcome Trust

The Wellcome Trust runs a number of grant schemes to encourage serious academic study and a career in the history of medicine. Grants are awarded for research in the UK, Republic of Ireland or The Netherlands, normally within a university department with academic expertise in medical history.

They offer studentships for both Master's and Doctoral students. The deadline for preliminary application is 15 March. Unfortunately, it looks like one must apply before studies begin, which makes it look like I'm ineligible. But hopefully someone else will find this information useful.

This is quite depressing, as I have learned today that I did not, in fact, win SSHRC funding. So if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go be depressed a while and freak out about how the heck I will pay for next year.

Oh, and I booked my flight to go home for Kalamazoo. Poor timing.

I have been remiss (queck!)

I've been informed by reliable sources that my blog is checked for updates far more often than I post. This makes me feel all special and stuff, so here I am posting.

I am on tenterhooks with regards to funding. If I don't magic me up some moolah this year, I'm honestly not sure what next year is going to look like. No way can I earn enough working part-time to pay for another year, even with the pittance OSAP is willing to extend to overseas students. I'm more or less already at the max of what my credit union's willing to give me. However, I'm doing what I can. Every scholarship I am eligible for is being applied to. I spend very little these days, and most of it on food (necessary). I'm still looking for a job.

On the subject of food, it's an interesting thing to compare to back home. You'll have heard that the cost of living in the UK is high, but it's only partially true. The cost of food is actually quite reasonable. I'm consistently surprised by how cheap my grocery bill is, even when I double it into dollars. Electronics, however, are obscene. They cost roughly twice as much as in Canada. Booze? Par with home. Books? Still pricey.

Something that surprised me, but I'm really enjoying, is the preponderance of fair trade goods. They are priced almost the same as "regular" stuff, but you know your pounds are being well-spent. There's also tons and tons of second-hand shops, most of them charity. This is going to help when I need clothes, I think. I've fallen in with hippies, and it's great!

I've been spending a large amount of time in the kitchen. There's just something about kitchens that is warm and comforting and homey. I'm learning to bake with an old-school gas cooker, which is interesting. I'm getting better with it, and my baking has so far turned out okay. Tonight's Mexican Chocolate Brownies were well-received, to be sure.

And as a final note of hilarity, I present to you another contender for "Best Manuscript Illustration." Scroll down to the seventh image, and click to enlarge it. To quote the inimitable Melissa: "I don't know why I find that so funny that some guy in a scriptorium a thousand years ago decided that that particular duck needed a speaking role," but I'm glad he did.

Chips

Mmm, delicious pub chips. No, for the zillionth time, I did not have fish. I don't like fish. I don't care if it's traditional. All I wanted were the chips. :)

And they were delicious. Simply lovely.

My tuition fees are due tomorrow and I'm not sure yet how I'm going to get those paid. Is a puzzlement.

Classes!

I have now been to both my classes. I'm definitely in the right Latin class, and I think I'll be happy in this palaeography class. My advisors don't understand why I'm so fixated on taking palaeo, but the course instructor understands - she's been to UofT.

And now I'm off to my job interview! I'm kind of hungry, so I hope my tummy doesn't rumble embarrassingly.

More Travel Prep (With Bonus OSAP Note!)

My apologies to anyone who's getting thoroughly sick of all the lists of travel prep details. 6 more days and we'll be into the funner* stuff like Eaquae's Travel Mishaps and Unintelligible Accents. I warn you, the amount of Latin whining is going to increase dramatically, though.

I have solved my packing dilemma, at least to my satisfaction. Ramona's dad suggested something called "unaccompanied baggage," so I called the airline about it, and they do it, but through their cargo shipping company. When I called the cargo company, they told me just to pay the excess weight fees and be done with it. The amount I'm shipping is small enough to still fit a suitcase, and if I just take it as luggage, I pick it up on the baggage carousel and go right to customs and immigration. With cargo, you have to do all that, and then make your way to the shipping area, fill out the paperwork to get your stuff, and then go back through customs again. Plus, they charge roughly the same. (Side note: If it came down to it, Canada Post has the cheapest shipping costs by far. FedEx, Purolator, and UPS are all about twice as expensive. Whoda thunk it?)

And it seems that someone at OSAP has their head on proper. Last week, I was told that OSAP moves at a glacially slow pace. No surprise there, but plenty of frustration. Today, the paperwork arrived. Apparently someone in the office realised the extreme silliness of waiting to print, and then waiting even longer to mail. Good on you, Anonymous OSAP Office Drone! I salute you!

Which means I have almost all my ducks lined up.

Freaky.



*"Millennia" is not a word, according to Firefox, but "funner" is. Crazy spellcheck.

Update on Red Tape

My visa has made it to the British High Commission and I've received and email to that effect.

Processing of your application starts now and normally takes 5 working days for straightforward non-settlement applications. [...] If your application has been approved, you will receive further notification when the visa has been issued. You should allow a minimum of 3 working days for your documents to be sent to you by Priority Courier and also before tracking your package. Doing the math, that means it should be posted back to me next Wednesday and will not likely be in my hands before the following Monday (the 21st). That tanks the hope to fly on the 20th.

OSAP, meanwhile, received my supporting documentation on Christmas Eve, and has sat on it since then. I called today, and the reply was "Oh yes, we got those in December. I'll update your file now." Thanks, OSAP. Top-notch service there. The papers will print this weekend. (Why not sooner? It's just hitting "print" on the computer.) They will be mailed next Thursday. (What, the post doesn't get sent out every day?) Presumably I'll get them the following week.

Your bloody slow incompetence has added another week to my waiting, OSAP. I'm sure you don't care two figs for the fact that I'm paying through the freaking nose for housing I can't use, and I won't even be on campus when the term's payment is due. I can't book my flights, and the cost is going up every day. You're a bunch of bloody-minded devils, you are!

Sorry, folks, bad day over here.

More Useful Links!

Okay, so just one for now.

Information for International Students who are looking for part-time work.

The systems stink, but sometimes the admins are golden

Last night at work I realised that if my OSAP paperwork didn't arrive today, I would not be able to submit it to York before the office closed for Christmas, effectively losing two weeks of Red Tape Time. And even if by some miracle it did come, the time difference would mean the office would be closed. Drat.

So I called York, fully prepared to beg. I was eventually connected with a wonderful woman in the Graduate Studies Office who consulted with someone else (a superior of some sort, I guess). She said that if I faxed the funding documentation I have now (two bank statements, a credit card statement, and the line of credit document), they'll assume the student loans paperwork will arrive before I fly over. And she'd mail out the final offer of admittance right away, so it would get in the post today.

So even though I can't send it back to them until January, I can get going on my visa as soon as it gets here. I was beginning to despair of getting out of here before February. Moral of the story: sometimes people are really nice and understanding, if you just call and ask. Thank you, wonderful Ms. Libby, thank you. I hope your Christmas break is wonderful, relaxing, and joyful.

In semi-related news, my manager at work informed me last night that he will extend my contract if I am still around past 05 Jan, which is when it would otherwise expire. I'm glad, because I'll have something to do, and can pick up shifts at the PT rate.

I've decided to keep working until I submit my visa application. The visa turnaround is supposed to be quite quick, and I'll be flying out as soon as I can after I get it. I'll use that time to freak out and be clingy. And pack.

On the road again?

My transcript from UofT arrived today.

I will post it "next day" shipping this afternoon, along with all the other paperwork OSAP wants.

Hopefully we can get this show on the road again.

I suppose the silver gilt on the cloud is that all these delays have resulted in the deposit of another couple of paycheques into my account, making that number also kind of nice to show York.

Can't wait to be on the road again....

OSAP: Basil Fawlty Edition

Advice for those with one-year M.A. programs, cleverly disguised as angry ranting.

At least, if you live in Ontario (though I imagine other provinces are similar).

If you take a one year M.A. program, OSAP gets suspicious when you apply for another "first year" the next year. They understandably don't like it when students switch programs too often, since it shows a lack of focus and they probably aren't getting their money's worth.

But honestly, folks. Did you even glance at my application? At the part that makes me fill out my entire academic history and what programs I was in when? Go on, take a look. Yes, see the M.A. clearly listed as "Year 1 of a 1 Year Program." Mhm. That means that I am now done that degree! It's over!

And under the space for the current program? Where it says Ph.D.? Folks, this is not some directionless drunken general arts major farting around. It should be quite clear why I am applying for the first year of a program again.

And UofT! Yes, you! What's up with the transcript nonsense? Any time a student needs an official transcript, they need it in a sealed envelope, or else it's invalid. That means if I order two transcripts, and you send them both in the same envelope, one of them is completely rahling useless! This should not be news to you. This is true for every instance in which an official transcript is needed.

So, folks, here's the advice part of this post. If you have applied to the first year of a program two years in a row, OSAP is going to demand transcripts, a photocopy of your SIN card, and a letter from you explaining things. They will not tell you about this until very late in the process. So get them ready beforehand.

Or you will end up like me, feeling much like this:

Oratio contra consilium ad considerandum trivii quadriviique

Quo usque tandem abutere, C.a.C.T.Qq, patientia nostra? Quam diu etiam furor iste tuus nos eludet? Quem ad finem sese effrenata iactabit audacia?*

There's a bug in the SSHRC website that allows one to enter a 2008 studies start date, but not the second field where you enter the information (it requires a 2007 date).

Ad mortem te, C.a.C.T.Qq, duci iussu consulis iam pridem oportebat, in te conferri pestem, quam tu in nos omnes iam diu machinaris.**

SSHRC has noticed this inconsistency and emailed my advisor at York, who emailed me. I explained the situation to her, so hopefully she will be able to clear it up with them.

Tum denique interficiere, cum iam nemo tam inprobus, tam perditus, tam tui similis inveniri poterit, qui id non iure factum esse fateatur.***

I'm going to be very upset if I lose out on a SSHRC just because their stupid website has inconsistent field value requirements.

------

* When, O SSHRC, do you mean to cease abusing our patience? How long is that madness of yours still to mock us? When is there to be an end of that unbridled audacity of yours, swaggering about as it does now? (Cicero, Oratio in Catilinam, I.1)
** You ought, O SSHRC, long ago to have been led to execution by command of the consul. That destruction which you have been long plotting against us ought to have already fallen on your own head. (I.2)
*** I will put you to death, then, when there shall be not one person possible to be found so wicked, so abandoned, so like yourself, as not to allow that it has been rightly done. (I.5)

Seeking Out Funding, Part the First

Welladay, I've been blithering on about my SSHRC application for quite a few posts now, and I'm starting to feel some sort of obligation to make this blog useful to others because God knows, I would LOVE to be able to read a blog like this right now. There's so much about going overseas and grad school in general to keep up in the air, and I'm a cruddy juggler. Having someone else offer suggestions and tips would be awesome, and while Excellent David is (natch!) an excellent source of info, his is ten years out of date.

Grad school is expensive, and international grad school is even worse. Most of us, by the time we get to grad school, are already deeply in debt and old enough to start having thoughts of settling, having a family, and doing it all without declaring bankruptcy. As a result, we need all the free funding we can get.

So. First in a series of informative posts about finding funding.

The Social Sciences and the Humanities Research Council offers scholarships for both Master's and PhD students (as well as funding for more established scholars). Winning a "SSHRC" is a moderately big deal in a status way, and an even bigger deal in a funding way.

Master's SSHRCs are valued at $17,500 for 12 months, and I've been told they receive fewer Master's applications than PhD so your odds aren't bad. PhD SSHRCs are valued at $20,000/year for up to 48 months. Also administered under the auspices of SSHRC is the Canada Graduate Scholarship, affectionately and awedly known as the "Super-SSHRC." The CGS is valued at $35,000/year for up to 36 months, and all SSHRC applications are automatically considered for the CGS as well (no separate application necessary).

The numbers alone should tell you these awards are worth applying for.

The application process is as full of red tape as you would expect. In addition to the 9 page online application form, which must be filled out absolutely correctly, you are responsible for getting two reference letters and writing a plan of study. I discussed the plan of study in an earlier post, but there's always more to say.

• SSHRC is applicable to students studying outside of Canada.
  
• Start early. Start writing your proposal early. SSHRC winners have been known to write upwards of 20 drafts, tweaking here and tinkering there. Your brain may get bogged down midway, so make sure you have time to put it on a shelf and take a break.
  
• Answer all the questions I listed in the earlier post, and don't be afraid to be blunt about them. You only have two pages - no room to be coy! SSHRC is not looking for flowery writing. Point of fact, I've been told they generally despise it. "Creative" and "artistic" are not good adjectives for a solid proposal (not to be confused with your actual idea, which may be creative and/or artistic). They want to know, in two pages, that you are a serious scholar with serious research potential, and that your ideas are viable. Presenting this creatively doesn't make you stand out: it makes you look frivolous. You have to take yourself seriously to get them to take you seriously. This goes for the title of your project, too: concise and descriptive are better than catchy.
  
• If you are at a school which offers a grant-writing seminar, GO! I can't stress this enough. I did it last year, and in four weeks I learnt an entirely new "voice." Writing a grant application is very different than other academic writing you may have done thus far, and having the experts at writing successful applications show you how to do it is beyond value. The UofT course includes one-on-one time with Writing Centre staff, all of whom won a SSHRC or CGS in the past. Because this award is so high profile and a major source of graduate funding, you may be able to find a SSHRC-specific course. GO.
  
• What SSHRC is looking for is research potential. They don't care what you've done in the past or how awesome you are, except inasmuch as it proves your potential. If you can't say exactly how a past experience makes you a good researcher, don't bother including it.
  
• Avoid impersonal pronouns. Never say "this proves I am great" or "I will do it." Say "this [specific thing] proves I am great" and "I will do [specific thing]." You have to be absolutely clear.
  
• Invest in a writing guide. I have Academic Writing for Graduate Students and it is top-notch. Provides help and information for a variety of writing situations grad students will encounter, including grant writing.

Be aware of your deadlines. If you are applying through your current school, your department will set the deadline. You have to fight your way out of your department, who have a limited quota of applications they can forward to the school. If you make it past that, you have to fight your way out of the school, who also have a quota. If you are not currently at a Canadian school, you apply independently, and the deadline is usually somewhere around 15 November. You don't have to fight your way to get to SSHRC, which is kind of nice. Plus you have extra time, but don't let that fool you - it runs out fast!

That is SSHRC in a nutshell. It generally has the earliest deadline, nearly a full year in advance. Grants can be awarded in May as well as September, but most people aim for September. It is also very good for students facing a thesis proposal, because the same sorts of thoughts (minus the begging) are needed.

Good luck!

The Elephant

I got my SSHRC posted today. I have a few tips:

1. Make sure the computer you have to print from has the same word processor as the computer you write and format the proposal in.
2. Don't forget to include your supervisors' names. This saves having to re-print at the very last minute.
3. Read all the form questions very, very carefully. This is another tip to save reprinting at the last minute.
4. While Kinko's does have net and printer access, it's nicer to not need them.
5. When you start your application, give your self a deadline. Push it back two weeks, or better still, a month. This is a lot more fun than last-minute scrambling. And you will always be scrambling.
6. FedEx self-serve shipping sucks, unless you're a regular customer. Don't bother if you're not, and get a real live person to help you.

Thank God that's over. Now I can prepare for the next grant application.

Foreboding...

A SSHRC plan of study is two pages long. Two tiny pages.

Yet here I am, just staring at them. I'm so sick of them I never want to see them again. I want to throw them away, delete them, burn them, and enter the world of low-paying mindless drudge work.

On second thought, I don't. I have heard so many people say "I got started at Oaklands to pay a few bills, figured I'd be here a few months or a year, tops. That was 17 (5, 22, 30!) years ago." I don't want to ever hear myself say that. I'm motivated!

I have seen the poop-eaters, each to each. I do not think that they will sing to me.

I have to finish this app!