12 February, 2009

The Miracles of Thomas Becket

I think this one takes the cake. (Sadly, I have only a summary, since I can't afford the requisite trip to Canterbury just now.)

Between the coffin lid and the roof of the tomb was a space of about a foot, and once a poor fat madman somehow squeezed himself through and lay down on the coffin. The monks thought they would have to smash the whole thing to remove him, but miraculously he squeezed himself out.

You Must Be This Thin [--] To Touch The Relics.

No Fat Madmen Allowed.

Only People 10 Stone Or Less May Cross This Line.

Please Do Not Put Yourself Into The Tomb.

If You Fall In/Down, Please Be Advised That Help Cannot Be Provided. Sincerely, Mgmt.

Be Advised: If You Damage The Tomb And St Becket Repairs It Miraculously, You Will Be Charged 1d. For Inappropriate Use of Saintly Powers.


Anonymous said...

That is absolutely the best miracle story I have ever read. Ever.

Anonymous said...

I love how it's only a miracle that he got out, not that he got in, which presumably he did by himself or with the aid of the Devil...

Alison Purnell said...

Or simply because he was mad! Who knows! Someday I'll go find a copy of the actual miracle account, instead of a summary. It would just crack me up if the miracle was not him being healed, but he fact that they got him out without breaking the tomb!

Matt Ward said...

HAHA this was awesome. I'm actually planning to start a post on Becket for my medieval history blog sometime soon.

As I said I run a Middle Ages history blog and believe your audience would enjoy it. I focus primarily on helping people learn more about the historic time period and some of the great people and actions which altered the course of history.

If you think your readers would appreciate my posts I would love to be included in your Rotuli. Either way I understand and wish to thank you for your time.


Matt Ward